My Daughter Only Wants Me For Money

Having the feeling that “my daughter only wants me for money” is frustrating and disheartening.

As parents, we want to feel loved by our children and know that our relationship with them is meaningful. When your daughter is being selfish or focusing on materialistic things over spending quality time with you, it can leave you feeling like a cash dispenser. 

You don’t want your daughter to think you’re punishing her by keeping her more grounded but you also don’t want her to become a spoiled and entitled individual, thinking she can get anything she wants from you.

Let’s talk about having a greedy daughter and how to teach her that having meaningful relationships and closeness are more important than money and material possessions will ever be.

Why Is Your Daughter So Materialistic

There are a variety of reasons why your daughter only wants you for money instead of spending the day with you or taking the time to build a better connection.

This selfish behavior can be common in many families and understanding why is important. Things like spoiling her to compensate for guilty feelings about things that have happened in the past or because you haven’t been spending enough time with her can be some common reasons. 

Don’t Parent Out Of Guilt

Don’t try to make up for working late or try to mend a broken relationship with money or gifts. Make up for lost time with a fun family outing or a meaningful surprise that doesn’t involve spending cash on her.

For example, single parents sometimes try to overcompensate for the guilt they’re feeling about their failed relationship.  Just because things didn’t work out between you and your partner, doesn’t mean that you have to use your hard-earned money to try and make your daughter happy.

If the daughter is missing out on quality time or financial support from the ex-spouse, it would be best to do activities that uplift her mood that does not require you to give her money because, at the end of the day, you can’t fill the void with money or objects.

She needs your focus, love, and attention, not just money being handed to her. Healing the pain from the past failures and disappointments won’t come from spending more money on your daughter. 

Every Special Day Isn’t About Her

Sometimes sibling rivalry can cause your daughter to feel neglected or competitive. Every time she sees her brother or sister receive a gift or money, she might start fussing and whining that she deserves something also. 

Children need to learn how to be happy for their siblings instead of being jealous of them on special occasions like a birthday or graduation. She should be happy to share the experience with them instead of worrying about material things.

Your daughter should learn that other people have wants and needs that are just as important as hers.

Focus On Quality Time

Your daughter shouldn’t be under the impression that belongings will make her happy.

Love is supposed to be about relationships, caring, and bonding, not how much money you spend. Teach her to be motivated to learn, grow, and to try and become a better person overall. Stop giving in to her every whim and start focusing on quality time spent when you’re together instead of money.  

Be a model of generosity for your daughter, don’t just preach about it. Make sure she sees you helping others and volunteering for charitable causes. When you have the chance, show her that sharing with others is far more rewarding than always receiving things all for herself. 

mother and daughter

Teach Your Daughter About Gratitude

Being able to help out and put a smile on another person’s face when they are having a hard time is a good feeling.

Kids get too accustomed to getting what they ask for without being thankful. Understanding that having everything she needs to survive should be considered a blessing. Anything extra is a bonus and shouldn’t be expected or taken for granted.  

Start Volunteering Together

Show your daughter how rewarding charity work can be.

Lots of projects rely solely on volunteers to reach completion. Teach her that time is more valuable than money in more ways than one.

One of the best ways you can teach her about gratitude is by taking her to volunteer at the local food bank or by making food and giving it out to homeless people (with supervision of course).

Your daughter will learn about people who are struggling to meet their basic needs like shelter and feeding their families. Seeing firsthand how grateful someone can be for a meal might help open her eyes.

Show her how comfortable her life is and remind her that being self-centered makes her look petty and ignorant. It is also important to understand that people at a young a can carry their habits with them as they grow older and those habits usually tend to become stronger.

If she has a habit of always using people just for their money, she might have a tough time keeping meaningful relationships as she grows older.

Don’t Reward Her With Stuff

Don’t give your daughter gifts for every little accomplishment or minor milestone she achieves. Material objects shouldn’t be associated with success and when your daughter receives a gift, be sure to talk to her about the effort and thought that went behind it.

Talk about how meaningful it is and what it represents instead of the reward or gift she receives. I’m not saying she should not feel special for receiving a gift, but just keep in mind that thankfulness and appreciation are also very important.

Your daughter also needs to learn that she has to earn what she wants and that accumulating stuff isn’t important. If she already has too many things that she doesn’t need, you should advise and help her get rid of some of the old things by donating them.

All children want things but there is a time when parents either can’t or shouldn’t allow their children to have them.

If your daughter is rude and ignores you but still wants new things constantly, you will have to talk to her about this behavior and explain why it is wrong. This is especially important when you are in public shopping. Acting like this and putting you on the spot should be unacceptable.

It can be a tough situation to deal with if your daughter only wants you for money.

How To Change Your Daughter’s Selfish Behavior

There are many different ways to set firm boundaries and stick to them when if you have to tell your self “my daughter only wants me for money”.

You have to create a clear difference between things your daughter wants and things she actually needs. You have to teach her self-control and how to set her own limits. Don’t give in to whining and excuses or your boundaries will become worthless.

She might not like it but she will have to learn to deal with it.

Praise Positive Behavior

You want to teach your daughter responsibility so be consistent.

Reward her for positive behaviors like sharing and helping others. When you see her doing something nice for someone else without being asked, tell your daughter how proud she makes you

Another great way to deal with this issue is to discourage complaining and whining. Having that type of mindset will ruin her outlook on life and it will not serve her in any way possible.

Changing this behavior can take some time so be patient with your daughter as you make some adjustments. Reinforce that she should be focusing on more than just her wants.

Point out how her greedy behavior can affect others.

Make Her Earn Her Money

A great way to show her that what she is doing is wrong is by talking about it in financial terms. Explain to her the value of the dollar and show how it is earned through hard work and effort. Let her know that by just revising money constantly, she will never understand how valuable money can be in life and the work it takes to receive it.

There is no room for entitlement and arrogance in a family so drilling this point through the financial side is key.

The first step you should take would be to help her develop a strong work ethic. If your daughter is old enough to work, she should get a job and start making her own money. It will make her learn to understand the work it takes to make money and she will be more likely to treasure the things she buys with the cash she earns.

She will also be more careful about how much she spends when you aren’t giving in all the time and be grateful for everything you already do for her.

Final Thoughts – Daughter Only Wants Your Money

If your daughter only wants you for money, telling your daughter no won’t hurt her, in fact, it’s necessary.

She should not be able to get everything she wants all the time just because you have the funds for it. Having healthy boundaries is very important because this makes her be responsible for what she has and it will help you avoid caving in when she wants things that are not really important.

When you say no, she should learn to accept it without protest.

You want to teach your daughter to show gratitude and be thankful for her blessings so making sure you set a good example with your behavior is important. Make changes that will teach her to practice self-control and over time, your daughter will grow to learn to count her blessings instead of using you as an ATM.