One of the worst feelings in life is when your children decide to treat you in a way that is not pleasant. Many parents have gone through a phase where they thought to themselves “my daughter treats me like dirt”. Even when you feel like you have given it your all, your daughter still does not appreciate you and the hard work you put in to create a better life for her.
These stages of growth and rebellion can be heartbreaking for a parent that is being rejected. Daughters can go through times where they resist and test your authority at any age which can lead to her treating you a certain way. If you are a parent dealing with this situation, it is not the end of the world and your daughter can become a loving child again if you can first dissect the problem, then implement strategies into changing her attitude.
You will go from being treat like dirt to being seen as a parent and guardian once again.
Why Does My Daughter Treat Me Like Dirt?
It can be sad and frustrating for a parent when your daughter is treating you like dirt. It can also be difficult to determine why she is displaying these types of actions and what to do about it when it does happen.
Younger girls ages 5 to 9 may start to move out of their sweet and innocent stage. They will pull away and maybe even develop a snide attitude. They mature a bit more with each passing year and may want to be treated less like a child and more like a big kid. Schoolwork becomes more challenging at this age. They start getting grades and want to do well.
Girls begin to face more pressure socially and notice the behavior of other people around them much more. This is a time when your daughter is starting to figure out where she fits in with others. Girls sometimes develop groups among them based on different factors. They become more aware of their appearance and want to shop for their own clothing.
Help your little girl learn healthy ways to solve her daily problems independently, in positive ways. Lots of young girls participate in sports, dance, or other extracurricular activities. This is a good way to keep them physically active and being social with teammates. Focusing on sports leaves less idle time.
Kids go through stages of rebellion and will sometimes act out when they feel powerless. If she is uncooperative or hard to motivate try not to get upset or take it personally. Remember to remind before you reprimand. When she blatantly defies you by ignoring directions or sassing you with backtalk, set consequences for this behavior and follow through with the punishment.
Talk things over with your daughter and try to keep your cool. Teach her that privileges are earned through good behavior and can just as easily be taken away for treating you poorly or misbehaving. Always remember to praise good behavior and boost your daughter’s self-esteem.
You might even offer a short-term incentive like a reasonable monetary allowance for completing her chores to motivate her to continue to do well each week. Your little girl needs love and guidance and she will learn how to treat others respectfully as she grows.
My Daughter Is Becoming A Preteen Terror…
When our girls hit their ‘tween years there’s sure to be a rough patch or two ahead. Between ages 10-12 your daughter is at an in-between stage. They aren’t little kids anymore and they’re nearly teenagers. Girls at this age have an urge to resist authority and be different.
Don’t let your daughter make you feel like a bad parent. Try not to let her behavior make you mad or hurt your feelings. If she chooses to be rude and push your limits, give her a consequence. Be firm, don’t ignore her disrespectful behavior or her attitude might just worsen.
Your daughter needs to understand that you are not ok with her treating you like that. She doesn’t have to agree with you but you can let your daughter treat you like dirt. Teach her ways to show respect to others and that having rude tones and poor attitudes could give people a negative impression of her.
Teach her healthy, appropriate ways to let you know how she’s feeling when she’s angry or frustrated. She might use these new techniques instead of being so disrespectful when she’s upset. Our children are always watching us, they’re always listening. We have to set a good example for them with our behavior.
Don’t name-call or disrespect others in front of your child. Your daughter is learning how to treat others as she observes the adults around her. Show her examples of healthy relationships. Stand your ground with her. If your child is continuously defiant and disrespectful continue to give her consequences for the behavior.
Take away her cell phone, electronics, allowance, privileges. Correcting this rude attitude while she is young could prevent her from treating people poorly for the rest of her life. Eventually, she should realize that additional punishment can be avoided if she simply complies with the rules and improves her attitude. Things will get better but don’t give up.
Why Is My Teenage Daughter So Hateful?
As soon as you turn to leave her doorway after asking her to put away laundry, you can hear a loud sigh and her muttering something awful under her breath. She’s always putting off her chores instead of doing something that seems more important to her teenage brain. Making her do her homework can also be a real battle at times.
It makes you think to your self “My daughter treats me like dirt, and I don’t like it”
Try to understand that her brain is still developing and she doesn’t have the ability to make the right decisions yet. Something that you as a parent should understand is that teenagers are impulsive, temperamental, and don’t understand the full consequences of their actions. They are ineffective problem solvers and they might act out and show disrespect with backtalk, eye-rolling, and rude answers. They have meltdowns and bad attitudes when they don’t get their way.
Your daughter is going through a lot but she has to learn to act respectfully even when things aren’t going the way she thinks they should. Rules and responsibilities shouldn’t be a power struggle. Your daughter is becoming more independent from childhood and finding ways to express a more mature attitude. She’s breaking away and rebelling against the structure.
Growing up is not a free pass to be rude and hurtful to others. Don’t ignore her behavior or she may just get worse. You can’t react to every single little snide remark either, you just really have to be sure that you still win the overall battle. Even if she mutters under her breath, as long as she still meets your expectations and continues to stick to the rules, you haven’t lost her.
Be positive and praise good behavior. Don’t demand respect but set a good example for her through your actions. Our teenage daughters are facing a lot. We have to be supportive and guide them into becoming productive adults.
We love our kids and want the best for them, but we can’t allow our daughters to treat us like dirt. If they stop following the rules and are disrespecting you, you need to let them know that is not acceptable behavior. Don’t tolerate her terrible attitude. Teens need to learn how to solve problems without getting out of control.
Your daughter needs to learn how to respect others and how it makes them feel. Empathy is huge, do an exercise with her where you describe what you think a day in your life is like and what a day in her life is like. Have her do the same with a description of her own daily life and yours. Discuss and compare. You might find that you both face some of the same struggles or relax in similar ways and find some common ground.
Final Thoughts
If you ever had to think to yourself “my daughter treats me like dirt”, you are dealing with a situation that is heartbreaking to any parent who has ever had a child. It can be a tough conversation to have with yourself or someone because you feel like you should be loved and appreciated as a parent.
No one should be going through that feeling because it can affect other parts of life and it is a heavy burden to carry around. Seeing other parents happy and joyful with their kids brings on more mental blunder within you so this is why it is important to try and fix the situation with your daughter. It can be tough at first but taking steps into having your daughter treat you like a loving parent again is necessary.
With that being said, follow the steps above to transform your relationship with your daughter to become a special one. This article is primarily for dealing with disrespect from teens or younger. If you are getting disrespected by your adult daughter check out My Adult Daughter is Disrespectful.