Do you hate your job? I’m not talking about your 9-5, I’m talking about your other job of being a parent. If you hate that job, it’s much more inconvenient than hating any other job. Parenting is a job that’s an 18-30 year commitment.
Although there is not a lot you can do to help deal with hating being a parent, there are things you can do to hate it less.
In reality, parenting is not easy. If you hate hard things then it is pretty likely that you’ll hate parenting also. Learning how to deal with hating parenting is tricky. The solution really depends on why you hate parenting.
Let’s discuss why someone would hate it and how to deal with hating being a parent for the following reasons.
1. You Were Not Ready
Many, if not most people are not ready to be a parent when they have their first child. This leads them to feel a drastic change in their life once they changed gears into being a parent.
The good news is that most parents start getting used to the parenting lifestyle around the time the child turns 3 or 4. The bad news is that if your child is older than that and you still hate being a parent, there is a good chance that parenting is not for you.
If parenting is really not for you that puts you in a tough situation. Unfortunately, there is no real solution other than putting your big boy pants on and taking care of the child. Just because you hate the job does not mean you can quit.
2. You Don’t Have Freedom
The number one most common reason why parents hate being a parent is that they lost the freedom they had before they were a parent. One of the biggest changes in your freedom throughout your life (other than moving out for college) is when you have a child.
As you already know, children need constant 24/7 attention. This is not just annoying, it causes many to feel like they are trapped and have lost their freedom. I hate to say this but in a sense that is true. You now have responsibilities you can’t just walk away from.
The best way to remedy this is to really engulf yourself in the lifestyle of being a parent. Rather than regressing and throwing your hands in the air try to focus on the great parts of being a parent.
3. The Financial Burden
Kids are expensive. Very expensive. I wish I could tell you it gets better but as they get older chances are things will only get worse. Cars, clothes, and the worst of all college are bound to drain your expenses.
If you are not in a financial place to take care of your child, it can be pretty easy to start resenting them. Some parents even start blaming their children for their poor finances.
The truth is if you are in financial hardship there is a very good chance it is your fault.
Whether it means changing careers or working more hours, if you have poor finances it is time to step it up. With the proper income, parenting does get easier. If you take out the stress of financial burden it is very likely you will find parenting less stressful.
Don’t blame your children for your financial incompetence, start making changes.
4. Not Liking Children in General
Although this is the most unlikely, it is the most severe.
Some people just don’t like children. The whole falling in love with kids thing that most parents go through is not something every parent experiences. the truth is, some people just don’t like kids.
Objectively it makes sense. Kids are annoying. For the less emotional people out there some may not like children in general. Some people have no intention of having kids but end up with one.
If you are one of those people I got some bad news. Time to tough it up. Your decisions and your actions led you to where you are today. Good chance children will grow on you over time but for now, you just have to be the best parent you can.
I hope these reasons helped you figure out how to deal with hating being a parent. There has been a lot of tough advice in this article but the truth is that parenting is not easy, no one said it was going to be.
If you hate being a parent, it can make parenting significantly more difficult but that does not chance the fact that you have a responsibility now to raise that child.
Lastly, I saved this to the end because this is the most drastic and unfavorable option. If you absolutely cannot put up with being a parent and are confident that the child is not safe under your supervision, you may want to consider giving your child up for adoption.
Please visit Life Time Adoption to learn more about potentially giving your child up.