Kids and teens go through different phases as they discover and grow into themselves. Think back to when you were young, you probably had interests or a certain type of style that you thought looked cool and wanted to have. This is the same thing that happens to our children as they grow older. One of the major types of changes that some girls want to experience is cutting their own hair. The answer to the question of “should I let my daughter cut her own hair” is determined by many different factors.
This might sound alarming to you but you need to understand that your child’s journey to self-discovery will probably look different than yours did, for a number of reasons. Each generation has its own take on things and the style that is “cool” nowadays changes over time.
Whether you understand all the little quirks that play a role in your child or teen’s individuality or not, it’s important to understand why they want to have that change. Understanding their point of view will make this process easier to go with.
So if you’ve ever asked yourself or someone, ” Should I let my daughter cut her own hair?”, the answer to that question is determined by a few factors.
Should I let her do it?
If your daughter is under the age of 18 and still lives with you, you will have more control over the decision being made.
The cool thing about hair is that you can always change it. You can change the color, the style, and the length. If it goes wrong, it grows right back. It’s not permanent like that tattoo you always wanted to get.
Letting your child cut their own hair (with supervision, if necessary) can encourage them to do what feels right to them. Although it may just seem like a haircut, self-expression can be so much more than that.
There is a famous quote that goes something along the lines of “when a woman changes their hair, they’re about to change their life.” Something about that rings true. When you cut your hair, you are stepping into a different version of yourself that you would like to be. This can be a huge confidence boost for your child.
At the end of the day, letting your daughter cut her own hair is a personal choice but the factors need to be addressed also.
I’m worried that they’ll mess it up and hate it.
If you feel confident enough in your hair-cutting abilities to do it yourself, you could offer to cut your child’s hair for them.
This could be a good bonding experience for the two of you. Any chance to take part in something that your child is interested in is an opportunity to grow closer to them.
If your child is seeking a hairstyle that is a little more complicated to achieve than it may appear in photos, you may suggest taking a photo to a stylist. This could save some potential tears if the outcome doesn’t come out as expected.
Going to the salon could be a fun bonding experience with you and your child, and they will feel confident that they were able to make this decision for themselves. Though it may seem small, kids and teens are often given a set of rules that they aren’t to stray from, and being allowed to make their own calls in any way can help to build confidence.
My child is insistent on cutting their hair themselves
Sometimes, it may not just be about the ‘do. If your child insists that they cut their own hair rather than receiving help from you or a professional, you can provide support while they cut it. If they are too young to cut their own hair, you will have to step in and do it for them.
You could look up tutorials online for the hairstyle that your child is hoping to achieve and watch a few of them together. You can learn together, and the experience in itself could make your child even happier with the turnout.
Learning how to do something on their own and then actually doing it is a good way to boost their confidence, and it could turn out to be a memory that sticks with your child.
If they have important events coming up
If your wondering if you should let your daughter cut her own hair and they have special events coming up, make sure you highlight that factor.
Any other time, you’d be okay with letting them cut their own hair. However, you may have family photos coming up or are going to church for Easter Sunday.
In situations like this, you can compromise with your child and ask that they wait until after the event to cut their hair. If they are in school, you may ask that they wait until the summer to cut their hair just in case it does not turn out how it was supposed to.
They may push back a little, but they will likely agree to it for the sake of being able to do what they want with their hair when the time comes.
Choose your battles wisely.
This is something that my mom said to me when I was a teen. I didn’t think very much about when she said it, but as a mother, I have a better understanding.
On my journey to self-discovery, I wanted to cut and color my hair, pierce my face, and tattoo my body. I was thirteen when this desire to change my physical appearance began.
It was my mother’s worst nightmare. She finally shrugged her shoulders and told me she was deciding to choose her battles from that point on instead of taking them all head-on.
When she told me this, she was referring to me asking for a tattoo. She was not okay with her young teenage daughter getting a permanent tattoo of her favorite band- and thank God for that.
Instead, we settled on a nose stud. I was so ecstatic that I was able to do something that I had wanted to do, I had let the tattoo go.
By choosing which battle she wanted to fight, she satisfied my desire for self-expression and talked me out of that silly tattoo that I certainly would have regretted. I’m not saying the answer is to take your child to get a piercing- but allowing them to be creative with their self-expression to a reasonable extent will help them feel confident in themselves.
Final Thoughts – Should I let my daughter cut her own hair
If you’re being honest with yourself, you hate the haircut. You love the way their hair is now and you don’t want them to change it, and that’s fine.
Here’s what it boils down to though: it isn’t your hair. Is it your child? Yes, but that doesn’t mean that we have ownership of our children’s bodily autonomy.
When we shut down something that our child wants to do, without basis other than our own personal likes and dislikes, we are sending a very specific message to them that we may not mean to: I don’t accept you as you are.
By doing that, we are choosing to send the message to our children that we judge them negatively and that they have to base their opinions on their interests and even their appearance based on what receives “approval” from us.
When we engage in this behavior, we are not only stifling their self-discovery, but we are pushing them to rebel. When it becomes a battle, not only will we lose, but it’ll be a hard fight.
In cases as simple as whether or not to let your child cut their hair- just let them cut their hair. The freedom that you give your child to explore their self-expression will stay with them way longer than the time that it will take for the hair to grow back.
It’s all a part of being human – discovering who you truly are and living your life to reflect that. Here is a cheat sheet on how to cut hair for beginners.