Why do Teenage Daughters Hate Their Mothers

A question that gets asked by many is “why do teenage daughters hate their mothers?”

Teenage daughters hate their mothers because of the strained relationship that has been developed over the years. Hatred is stemmed from the way one person treats another so constant fights and arguments can create memories that last for a long time.

This can be common especially if the mother and daughter live under the same roof. If you or someone you know is dealing with a situation like this, there are steps to take for this issue to be resolved.

Something to keep in mind is that teenage daughters don’t hate their mothers out of nowhere, it will take many instances for this hate to grow. What needs to happen is for the mother to look back at how she treated her daughter growing up and evaluate herself when it comes to how she treated her.

There are also many other reasons why a mother can be a target for hate even though they are not at fault. Looking at this situation not only with emotion but with logic is very important so keep in mind to look through multiple perspectives.

1. Strained Conflicts In The Past

The first reason why teenage daughters hate their mothers would be from past conflicts that the daughter experienced as she was growing up.

If you are a mother that has a daughter that hates you, it is time to look back at how you have treated her in the past and see if there were times where you went overboard.

Situations like yelling at her in the store or in front of her friends, not making her go on school field trips, not allowing her to have sleepovers can be reasons why she has a hate for you.

As mentioned above, this hate does not happen automatically after one instance, it takes many different scenarios for someone to hate another person.

If you can look back and see how you and your daughter have interacted with each other as she was growing up, you will see the moments that might have caused this hate. The more bad memoirs you can think of, the bigger the feeling of hate might be.

2. Mothers Are A Target

Another reason why daughters tend to get upset and have that type of feelings towards the mother would be because sadly, mothers are an easy target when it comes to confrontation.

Children know that their mother loves them unconditionally so whenever they want to lash out and become angry, it becomes easy for them to target their mothers since they know that she will always love them.

Since the daughter can be dealing with her own issues, her mother can be the target for taking out frustration.

This has been known to be a common issue in many households and it is a very toxic trait that many children have. If the mother has not done anything to anger the daughter but the daughter still shows hate towards her, the daughter should really evaluate her actions and learn how to deal with situations that anger her without lashing out at people or sending hateful vibes towards them.

Why do Teenage Daughters Hate Their Mothers is a common question.

3. Mothers Put A lot Of Pressure On Their Daughters

A third reason why daughters might hate their mothers would be because many times, mothers put too much pressure on their daughters when it comes to certain aspects of life. Think of it like a father pressuring his son to do good in sports so he makes him do drills and practice to the point where it will lead to the child to resent his father.

Mothers can put pressure on their daughters when it comes to things like having a boyfriend, the way they dress, or many other aspects.

This happens a lot because many parents make their kids do things that they wish they had done when they were younger, or try to make them the best version of themselves without realizing that the child wants to live their own life too.

This will cause parents to put pressure on them and expect certain outcomes. When the children don’t live up to those expectations, the parent gets mad and frustrated.

If the mother is pressuring her daughter to do certain things or achieve a certain accomplishment, this will throw the daughter off balance and can make her life a lot harder than it needs to be.

If you are a parent reading this, understand that your children have emotions too so think about what type of pressure you put on them and if it is good or bad.

Steps To Reverse The Hate

When you get a general idea of why the daughter might hate the mother, this will give you the answer to fix this issue.

The earlier the mother can fix the situation, the better because hate can grow as the daughter gets older and it can get to a point where it will exceed any potential reconciliation

1. Talk To The Daughter

The first step would be to sit with your daughter and have a talk with her.

This might be hard especially if the daughter does not want to do this but it has to be done so you and her can have an understanding of where this hate comes from.

When talking to the daughter, make sure you don’t come in with a tone that sounds accusing but rather a concerned one.

If you come in with that type of tone, it will just show the division between you two and it would ignite the flame even more. The last thing you want is for your daughter to hate you more because of this attack.

When you finally have a chance to talk with her, ask her why she feels that way towards you because there can be many different reasons and as much as you might think you know the answer, the person feeling this way is the only one that truly knows the reasons.

When she is speaking, make sure that you are listening to what she is explaining and let her speak her mind. You want to absorb all that she is saying so you can really understand what is going on.

It will give you a chance to identify specific problems.

You need to talk to your daughter if she hates you.

2. Settle This Out

Once she has told you why she feels this way, it is time to settle this and start the reconciliation process.

Let her know that you want to make the relationship better and fix any problem that might have been caused in the past. If she has mentioned anything that you did in the past that might have hurt her, you should apologize even if you think what you did was the right choice.

Your ego needs to be set aside when trying to fix a broken relationship so make sure that when you are in the moment. If you let your ego inside of you flair up and start getting defensive, your daughter will just think that it is another argument and not realize that you are trying to fix the situation.

This does not mean that you should not explain yourself because you also have a right to do that.

If your daughter still hates you but loves her father, you can talk to him to get his help in this situation.

Final Thoughts

There can be many reasons why teenage daughters might hate their mothers.

It is a very serious topic because hate is a strong feeling towards someone and if it is directed at your own mother, there needs to be a discussion on how to fix this issue.

The mothery love is unconditional. Seeing her daughter hate her can cause emotional pain that can also lead to major problems down the line. Even though relationships can take a bad turn, a simple conversation and talk can help form a resolution.