Adoption is a very complicated emotional rollercoaster. A child moving in with a new family can be a hard thing for both the child and family. When the time comes to bond with the family, it can be a hard thing to do. Many people have asked the question “How can I spend more time with my adopted son?” and the answer to that ranges from different factors that will be discussed below.
It is important to note that it will take time and effort from the parent to really have a great relationship with the child. Keep in mind that the child is nervous and will probably not want to open up yet because you are still a stranger to him. He is still not comfortable in the new environment and it is your job to get him to a level of comfort where he is not shy or afraid to be himself.
Look at it from his perspective. Here is a great video for looking at things from your adopted son’s perspective.
Do not feel bad for yourself if he seems like he is not interested in becoming closer to you at first. This process will take time and with the right mindset and attitude, you will be able to spend more time with your adopted son.
Before doing anything, there are a couple of factors to consider when trying to plan out ways to spend time with your adopted son.
The first important factor in this situation is how old is the adopted son. This matters because the younger he is, the easier the process will be since he is still growing up and building relationships with people around him. You will have more time to build a great lasting bond that will translate to more time spent together.
It is also fine if he is at an older age but by then, he will have developed his own mindset and interests and it can be hard for him to open up when he is older and more mature. He understands the situation he is in and might feel like a burden or embarrassment so it will require patience from you and the family.
Another factor you should find out would be what his interests are. Even a child who has been going through a lot has interests and it is your job as a parent to discover what he loves. You can tell that by what he brings along when you accept him into your family.
It can be a superhero, it can be a sports team, or it could be many more other things. Have a talk with him and see what he loves because any type of involvement in his interests will open him up to you.
Thigs to Do With Your Adopted Son
Here are ideas you can do if you are wondering how to spend more time with your adopted son.
The movies are one of the best places to go when you want to bond with your adopted son. With so many genres out today like comedy or action, there are many movies that can be a satisfying experience for you and the adopted son.
It can be a great starter for spending time with him if he is still shy because going to the movies does not include that much conversation except before and after. It will give you an opportunity to have a conversation after the movie to talk to him about what you guys watched.
Finishing is a great activity that will engage both of you in a fun and exciting adventure. If you live next to a body of water, a short trip in the car will lead you to a place where you will be able to start fishing together.
It is also a great activity because if you do catch, that can be your dinner for tonight. Now you and your adopted son can say that you both brought dinner for the whole family!
3. Cook a Meal
A great bonding activity that you can do at home is cooking a meal together. Taking a trip down to the grocery store can be the first step since you both get to pick out the ingredients together.
You will then go home, put on the apron, and get to cooking. Whether it’s making a nice chicken dinner or baking a cake, the simple fact of collaboration on the meal is the whole point.
4. Play Video Games
Boys love their video games and they can spend all day playing them so what better way to bond with them than to play video games. It can be any type of game but having them choose is probably the most ideal since you want them to feel comfortable.
It is important to make sure that video games are played in moderation and not at an excessive rate. And if there are some games that you don’t see appropriate to play, it is important to set your boundaries and not do something you don’t want to do.
5. Go on a Hike
Another fun activity you can do with your son would be to go on a hike. Being in nature is a great way to refresh and escape your everyday life for a couple of hours which is a great place you and your son can bond. According to research, being in nature is great for mental health and can lighten the mood of anyone being around it so make sure that you consider this as an activity you and your adopted son can do a lot.
Going on a jog, shooting hoops, or working out at the gym can be some of the best bonding activities you can do with your adopted son. Doing any exercise, in general, can open the doors for many great things like the improvement of physical and mental health. It also develops a bond between the exercise partners because they will be spending a lot of time together.
If he is interested in a specific sport, that is even better because the love for the sport will make him feel comfortable while playing and it will ease the process of becoming closer to the son.
Another way you can spend more time with your adopted son would be by going shopping. It can be a great way to welcome him into the family by getting him some new clothes that he likes. As you are shopping, you will be talking and communicating about what clothes look good and what loos terrible. Then, when he picks something that he likes, take it and purchase it for him.
When someone gifts a piece of clothing to someone else, they tend to remember the person that got them the gift and they appreciate them more. This can be a great way to open up to the son by showing him kindness and buying him a new piece of clothing
Of course, there is a budget to follow so keep that mind if he chooses something a bit too pricey.
Probably the best bonding activity is be going on a vacation or family trip. With so many places around the world to explore, going on a traveling experience with your adopted son will create a bond like never before.
The reason for that is since you and your son are trying new foods, exploring new scenery, and just overall away from home, it will bring the adventurous vibe out of both of you and there will be much to talk about on the trip.
A great thing about vacations is that a lot offer packages where they will take you places around the city which is a great way to get out and explore with your adopted son.
9. Outdoor activities (Preschool Age)
If you are adopting a child at the preschool age, doing any outdoor activity will bring joy to the son.
There are many great outdoor activities that will provide the time you need so you and your adopted son can grow with a great bond. Click here for a guide on outdoor activities you can do with younger kids.
Final Thoughts On Spending Time With Adopted Children
There are many ways you can spend more time with your adopted son. It is a big transition for him and it will take time and effort to develop a great bond with them.
Getting to know what they are interested in is important to the process because that can help you start bonding with them more. The whole goal is to make them feel comfortable around you and by doing that, they will be open to spending more time with you.
With that being said, explore these options if you are wondering how to spend more time with your adopted son.