Are you noticing some strange behavior from your son? Maybe he’s locking his bedroom door when he used to leave it wide open or staying in the bathroom for a long time and acting strange when he comes out. If you have had to ask yourself “Why is my son in the bathroom for a long time?” lately, you might be dealing with a few issues at hand.
The bathroom is a place where many private things happen. It is where we do our most private activities like shower, use the toilet, and in some cases, masturbation.
With that being said, understanding why your son is in the bathroom for a long time is important, especially if they are still young. At the same time, making sure we don’t snoop in on their privacy is also a key component we need to remember.
Changes Happen
There’s a pivotal moment in every child’s life when they become more private, and it typically happens right around puberty.
Thankfully, this behavior is completely normal, but it can be alarming when our kids suddenly change their habits overnight.
They go from following us around and wanting all of our attention to getting annoyed at us when we seek them out. Preteens and teenagers are notorious for this sudden change of behaior so rmeber tht youna re not alone.
Bathrooms Equal Privacy
We’ll cover a few main reasons for this change and a few things to watch out for in case your concern has unearthed a severe issue, but rest assured that in most cases, he’s simply learned the bathroom equals total privacy, and that is what he’s after.
Think about it for a moment. As parents of young kids, the bathroom is oddly fair game for our kids to burst into, even though we are undeniably busy in there.
I’ve had my entire family in my half bath, asking me about dinner within 30 seconds of sitting on the toilet. Because of this, we begin to give our children time alone in the bathroom after they’re fully potty trained as a way to show them that they shouldn’t barge in on anyone, especially us.
We teach them through example (which, admittedly, doesn’t always work).
At some point, we have that earnest discussion entailing the concept that bathroom time is private because we honestly just want to pee without someone continuously knocking or asking us for a snack.
Thus, the “bathroom guarantees privacy” connection in their brains is born.
However, we continually seek them out in their bedrooms and often forget to knock until they make it blatantly clear that it’s unacceptable.
Your son is well aware of this. Therefore, the bathroom becomes his haven once he begins to explore his own body.
It’s Time to Talk…About Safe Masturbation
If you knock on the bathroom door, you’ll probably be met with several different excuses, especially if you start questioning him about what he’s up to in there.
He’s going to say “nothing” many times over, and that’s okay. Self-exploration can be a very embarrassing subject for pubescent boys.
However, if you think this is what’s happening, you need to understand that masturbation is a normal and natural behavior the occurs as children are growing older.
According to Healthline, masturbation releases many hormones that make us feel good like Dopamine, Endorphins, Oxytocin, Testosterone, and many more!
It can also help you concentrate, relieve stress, and become relaxed overall.
As much as you would want your son not to partake in these things, you need to understand your son’s body and mental can be impacted positively after a long stressful day.
You don’t have to confront him about it yet, but at some point, during that safe sex talk that every parent needs to have with their children, masturbation needs to be discussed. If they have access to social media and the internet, they’re bound to make some seriously questionable decisions.
Yes, the sex talk is awkward, and many parents avoid it because of how uncomfortable it can be to sit them down and bombard them with facts and warnings. We think, hey, no one did it for us, and they’ll learn what they need from friends.
Really, though, we want to be sure our kids are getting the correct information and that they feel comfortable coming to us if they have any questions. The only way to ensure this is to open a judgment-free dialogue.
After you’ve given them an introductory talk about the facts and normalized the urges they are having, be sure to reserve time when they can ask questions. Please do not laugh, no matter what they ask.
Some of the questions are bound to be funny, but when you laugh, you change the tone from serious and supportive to demeaning, and that will undo any of the hard work you’ve put in to ensure they are well informed.
Also, ignore the “Ugh, I know!” They might; they might not. Regardless, it’s our jobs as parents to look past the statements and insecurities and get through this.
Masturbation can become an issue if it does become excessive. Too much of anything can become an addiction which can lead to bigger problems down the line.
If you have noticed that your son is in the bathroom for a long time because he is always masturbating, you will have to install a net protective program that blocks all bad content.
I have personally installed this program in my own home and it has worked well to prevent my children from going on any bad sites.
Normal Versus Concerning
While masturbation is perfectly normal, if you’re getting the vibe that this isn’t what has your son locked in the bathroom, there are a few things it could be.
You must make sure your son knows to come to you with any health concerns, both mental and physical.
While I would love to be able to tell you with 100% assurance that nothing nefarious is happening in the bathroom, for some kids struggling emotionally, this might not be the case.
We can hope that what our children are doing in private is body positive, but the truth is that self-harm is very real, and it takes place in home bathrooms around the world.
I’m not suggesting that the next time your son spends 30 minutes in the bathroom without the shower running that you immediately demand to know what’s happening. Still, you need to know the signs and symptoms of depression and support his need for help if this is a concern.
Similarly, health issues can be something that he might not feel comfortable approaching you with, even though you’ve heard about every scrap and cut he’s had for years. Make sure you are taking him to his annual exam and giving him time alone with his doctor.
Even if it’s only five minutes, he might have questions he wants to ask without you around. That’s okay! As they grow up, they need these moments with professionals to ensure that all of their health needs are getting covered.
If you have any concerns, you can also bring them up to his doctor, but be sure to let your son know that you will be asking.
If you take the control entirely away from him, he won’t trust you later on with information. Whatever you choose to talk about, ask your son if he’d like to be present for the conversation.
“We really need to talk to your doctor about *blank*. Would you like to stay while I have that conversation? If not, I completely understand, but this is why we approach professionals when we have questions, and as you grow up, you need to be comfortable talking to your doctor about any concerns you may have.”
Related: 10-year-old watching inappropriate videos
Final thoughts – Why is My Son in the Bathroom For A Long Time?
Taking our time in the bathroom is something that many of us do. It is a place where we can get lost in our thoughts while showering or using the toilet.
it can also be the place where many people masturbate or perform acts that they don’t want anyone to know.
If your son has been staying in the bathroom longer than usual, it can be any of those things. It is important to keep his privacy intact but at the same time, we want to be sure that they are okay and not doing anything that can harm them later in the future.