When you are choosing between love and kids, there are several factors to look for. This issue will require you to really think about the decision and how much attention you give towards both factors.
In life, we have many priorities. Some matter more than others and when we try to decide what we should prioritize, we might often get stuck.
Choosing between love and your kids is a very hard choice but finding a balance between both can happen if you put in the effort to do so.
Why Not Both?
There should be no reason why you can’t give attention to both.
Tring to figure out if you should choose love or your kids indicates that you are a single parent with children who is trying to find love again but since you have children attached to you, it is causing you problems attracting love again.
Many have experienced this situation and have gotten through it by implementing certain strategies to make sure they can have both.
There can be 2 main reasons why you might be in this predicament.
- The person you love and want to be with is hesitating because you have kids.
- You children are making it hard for you and are against you from finding love again.
Dealing with this situation can obviously hurt because you want to have both but conflict starts to happen and the feeling of hopelessness starts to loom.
Whichever one you are dealing with, you will have to think critically and logically to get the best outcome.
The Person you love is against you having kids
Having kids can be a blessing. They can also be the reason why it is hard for you to be in love with another person.
If you are interested in someone but they don’t feel the same because you have children, there are a couple of things you can do to change their mind.
1. Have a Talk
Having a conversation with the person you love and see what bothers them about you having kids is essential. If they truly have love for you also, they would accept your children and try to manage a healthy relationship with them.
If they can’t accept that you have children, it might not seem like the best idea to keep trying.
You want your partner to accept your children as much as they accept you because at the end of the day, your kids are a part of you and they shouldn’t be looked at like extras in a relationship.
The first step you can take to make the person you love accept that you have kids is by bonding together. It can be anything you can think of.
Whether it going to the movies, having a picnic at the park, or going for a swim at the beach, spending time together will strengthen the bond between everyone involved.
3. Parenting Classes (If they are new to parenting)
One of the reasons why many single people might hesitate to enter a relationship is because they have never parented someone in their life and they are nervous to take on that task.
This can be understandable because parenting is not an easy task. It is filled with responsibility and a sense of selflessness needs to be imposed.
If that is the case, taking parenting classes can be the best choice you can make. It will teach them how to become an exceptional parent and role model for the kids.
If your potential lover is not willing to put in the time to take these classes to better themselves, it might not be worth pursuing that relationship. You want someone who is going to be dedicated enough to be the best parent they can potentially be.
Your children are making it hard
If your children are making it hard for you to get into a relationship, you will need to identify the reasons why and see if you can come up with a solution.
You might get a different type of backlash depending on how old your kids are. Their age will also determine how you should approach them about bringing in a new person of interest into the family.
1. They Don’t Want Thier Other Parent Replaced
Whether your partner has passed away or is not in your life anymore because of divorce, choosing another person to come in their place can be hard for the kids to accept. This is very common if they still have a connection and love for your old partner.
They may see your new lover as a traitor and might not understand why this is happening especially if they are young.
Even though you wish they can see and understand that moving on to a new person is okay if the situation presents its self, it’s not always an easy transition.
If they are young, explain that your old partner is unfortunately not going to be big part of their life anymore. This does not mean they are going to be a replacement, it just means that they will be a new addition to the family.
They need to understand that giving someone a chance is important. As the famous quote says, “Never judge a book by its cover“.
2. Your Children Are Afraid They Might Lose Attention
Another reason why your kids might not like the fact that you are seeking love again would be because they feel like they might not get as much attention as before.
They view your new partner as someone who is taking away precious time away from them.
This is when you step in and let them know that this will never happen. Let them know that they will be receiving the same attention, if not more, when your new lover comes into the picture.
Since there will be a new family member coming in, this will give them the opportunity to get to know someone new who can potentially be a part of their life forever.
A great way to make them understand this is by doing bonding activities together. Think of your children’s favorite things to do and plan times during the week to enjoy it with them.
The more time spent together, the better the outcome will be.
Your Children Are Everything
One important factor that you need to keep in mind is that your children should always come first no matter what. Choosing between love and kids can be a hard choice but they are a creation made through you and have a part of your soul in them.
Whenever you are dealing with anything that involves them, they should always be the first option, even if it involves you giving up on love for a while until they grow older and understand.
If they are young, they will most likely not understand or be comfortable with many big changes in their life so it is your job to make them feel accustomed to the change.
Final Thoughts – Choosing Between Love And Kids
Life is full of decision-making. Things like choosing the right car, career, or house are decisions people make every day.
There might come a time where you will have to choose between kids or love and since that can be a hard choice, understanding the factors in each scenario is important.
Like it is mentioned above, your kids should be the number one choice in any decision you make involving them. You are their backbone and protection so choosing love over kids can harm your relationship with them which is the last thing any parent wants.
You can have time for love and your kids if you can find balance. there is o reason why you should not have both unless it will conflict with your children.
As a parent, making tough decisions is all we do so when facing a tough decision, just remember that you are strong enough to make the right choice.
Finding the balance is key when dealing with this issue.