Does the Mother of My Child Still Love Me?

Raising children can strain a relationship due to factors such as lack of one on one time, high stress, or financial issues. From time to time you might find yourself wondering if your partner doesn’t feel the same about you anymore because your relationship might look different than it did before.

Here are some things you should keep in mind to determine whether the love is there or not. 

10 Questions to Determine if the Mother of Your Child Still Loves you

Does the Mother of My Child Still Love Me

Here are 10 questions you need to consider when trying to figure out if the mother of your child is still in love with you.

1. Does she want to spend time with you? 

You may not have a lot of free time to spend together and that could be causing what feels like distance in the relationship. However, if you’re unable to take that time, that doesn’t mean the love is gone.

Does she express a desire to spend alone time with you? If she talks about places she’d like to go or things she’d like to do, does she include you in those plans? Setting aside time to spend with your partner is important for your relationship, even if it’s watching a movie on Netflix together after the kids go to bed or going on a kid-free grocery run. 

2. How fitting is the term “partner”? 

One easy way to determine if someone loves you or not is if they show up for you. Everyone has different love languages, but everyone can show that they love someone by supporting them and being there with them.

When you’re overwhelmed, does she do little things to make your life easier? Does she support you through the ups and downs of your life? If she loves you, she’ll be there to celebrate your successes and pick you up on your bad days. The two of you will function as a unit rather than two forces working against each other. 

3. Does she speak love into you? 

Another big indicator of whether or not someone loves you is how they speak to you. Someone that loves you will not insult or belittle you. They will not make “jokes” that are more hurtful than funny, they will not gaslight you when you express grievances in the relationship, and they will not threaten violence. Period.

These are examples of emotional abuse, not love. If the mother of your child loves you, she will build you up. She will appreciate what you do for your family and make that be known. 

4. Does she respect your space and privacy?

No matter how long you’ve been with your partner, it’s important for you to have your own space and privacy. If you need time alone, do they respect that, or do they get angry with you? Do they go through your phone unprompted?

A loving partner will respect you as an individual and will allow you to take care of yourself when you need to and set boundaries as needed. A need for control is not a good sign in a relationship and it can be draining. 

5. Does she show affection? 

Keep in mind that affection can look different for different people. If the mother of your child had a baby recently, you may find that she doesn’t seem as interested in being intimate as before. This is normal and is not a reflection of whether or not she loves you.

Postpartum can affect many things, including libido. She may show affection by snuggling up to you when you watch a movie, playing with your hair, or holding your hand. She may be distant at times due to postpartum depression and the general exhaustion and burnout that comes along with motherhood, but it won’t last forever. 

6. Does she include you? 

When it comes to parenting, do you have open discussions? Does she include you in family photos and public outings with the kids? Does she bulldoze decisions that you feel should be a team effort?

If you’re constantly feeling left out, you may find yourself wondering if she’s even thinking about you at all. If she loves you, she will make sure you know how important you are to your family and how appreciated you are. She will want you present with her, not just blindly following her around. Your input will matter to her. 

7. Does she undermine you as a parent? 

While she may have her motherly instincts, if she loves you she will allow you to be a parent. She won’t get frustrated if you do something simple differently and immediately take your child and act as if you can’t be trusted with them.

Teasing you a little about doing something silly is one thing, but to be demeaning about it isn’t something a loving partner should do. If you make mistakes, she should simply show you what to do and allow you to learn, rather than shutting you out entirely and being upset with you. You shouldn’t be made to feel like a bad father for not knowing everything

8. Does she talk about a future with you? 

If she loves you and wants to stay with you, she may talk about what your future together might look like. This could look different depending on where the two of you are at in life.

This could be getting married, having another child, moving to another state, or even adopting a dog. If she is interested in going through any of these life-changing events with you, it’s safe to say that she wants to be with you long-term. This could mean that she doesn’t have any doubts about the relationship, which is an indicator that she loves you. 

9. Is she interested in you?

When you talk, does she listen to you? That seems like a no-brainer, but I mean really listen. Does she know what’s most important to you, what scares you, what motivates you? Do conversations seem one-sided or shallow?

Does it feel like you’re always talking about her and never about you? It may feel like she doesn’t really see you. This may be a sign of idealization, rather than love. The two can easily be confused. With idealization, the other person puts you on a pedestal that you can easily be taken off of because it isn’t you that they love- it’s the idea of you. 

10. Are these behaviors consistent? 

Emotional manipulators act in different ways to get their desired results. They may be affectionate and attentive one day and cold the next. If they love you, they will love you consistently and unconditionally.

They will not leave you questioning whether or not they love you with their hot and cold behavior. They may call you horrible names one day and then give you words of affirmation the next. If they are able to verbally abuse you that is not an indicator of love.

Final Thoughts – Does the Mother of My Child Still Love Me?

Relationships are complicated and adding a child into the mix doesn’t make it any more simple. If you are feeling unloved in your relationship, the first thing you should do is talk to your partner. Communication is key. It’s very possible that they do love you and are struggling to express it correctly. How do they respond when you approach them about your feelings?

A conversation could be all it takes to set things in the right direction. Relationships do have ups and downs and you could be in a “down” period. Just be sure not to endure mistreatment for the sake of love.