How To Know If Your Child’s Father Still Loves You

If you are wondering how to know if your child’s father still loves you, taking a few steps to findout can give you a clear answer.

Relationships always come with bumps on the road and having children can add more stress to any relationship you are in. Sometimes you may feel distant from each other and you may start to ask yourself- “does he still love me?”

You may ask for reassurance, be given it, and still wonder. If you take a look at your partner’s behavior patterns you may be given a more clear picture of whether or not your relationship is in a good place.

Here are ten questions you can ask yourself to know if your child’s father still loves you.

How Did He Treat You During Pregnancy? 

Pregnancy is a beautiful journey full of emotions.

During this time, the feelings of love you might have while anticipating the arrival of your child can be very strong, which might cause you to feel more strongly connected to the father of your child.

However, because of these intense emotions, it is also possible to mistakenly slide on a pair of rose-colored glasses.

A way to know if your child’s father has love for you is If you think back to your pregnancy, do you remember how the father made you feel loved?

A man that loves you will support you emotionally to his best ability throughout your pregnancy. If you found yourself regularly feeling like you were alone in your pregnancy, this may be a sign of your partner neglecting your emotional needs.

If he loves you, he will be your teammate and he will uplift you. He won’t call you names, belittle you, or bulldoze arguments and conversations. In disagreements, he will help you work toward a solution.

He will be present for these life-changing experiences and he will be appreciative for it rather than avoiding his responsibilities as a partner and a parent. The amount of effort he put in during the pregnancy can determine how much love he has for you.

How Did He Treat You During Postpartum?

While pregnancy can be a very emotional time, oftentimes postpartum can be even more of a rollercoaster.

Postpartum depression and losing your sense of self is very common among new mothers. Having a less than gentle partner can worsen these negative feelings.

It’s important to be treated with care during what is referred to as “the fourth trimester”, where the mother begins to heal emotionally and physically.

If the father of your child loves you, he will be mindful of this. He won’t know exactly what you’re going through or what to do to help you, but he will be willing to listen and do what he can.

He will help take care of the baby without you having to plead with him, help around the house, and/or help with meals.

He will be kind to you, appreciating the work you’ve put into giving birth to and caring for their child. He will also show up for you and your child the same way he did during pregnancy.

If he is leaving you to take care of everything while his life and responsibilities stay the same, insulting you, and making you feel isolated, this is not a good sign because this shows that he is comfortable mistreating you.

How Do They Talk To You? 

Think about how the father of your child has talked to you in different scenarios.

In disagreements, does he shout at you? Does he listen to what you have to say, or does he talk over you? Does he use anything he has to drive his point home, including scare tactics, guilt, or other forms of emotional manipulation?

These are red flags that indicate that what he feels isn’t love.

A man that loves you will speak kindly to you and give you the reassurance that he cares about you. You won’t feel drained or like you’ve run around in circles with your partner only to still feel like they aren’t “getting it.”

You may still disagree, but it won’t change how he behaves toward you if he loves you. If you disagree with a man that loves you, you shouldn’t be anticipating a massive blowup. 

How Do They Show You That They Appreciate You? 

A loving partner will appreciate you and will show it in one way or another rather than leaving you guessing.

A way they can show their appreciation may be a small gesture, but it still tells you that they are grateful for you and care about you. If they constantly show you appreciation, then you can determine that he does love you.

You need to remember that this should go both ways. If you want to feel appreciated, you should also put in the same effort as him because it should not be one-sided.

Does He Support Your Goals And Personal Growth? 

A great way to know if your child’s father still loves you is if you feel comfortable enough to be vulnerable about your goals and your personal journey, knowing that it will be met with support.

Think of how the father of your child reacts when you accomplish something. Does he uplift you, or does he downplay your successes? If you signed up for school or took a new job, would your partner be proud and happy for you?

If your partner meets your goals and dreams with negativity and tries to put it in your head that you can’t or shouldn’t do it, this is a sign that he isn’t acting out of love and might not love you as much you are hoping for. 

What Kind Of Attitude Does He Have Toward Your Friends And Family? 

A loving partner will encourage you to maintain your relationships outside of themselves.

They will not create a dynamic where you have to choose between them and your loved ones. They may not like each and every friend or family member that you have, but they will respect that person’s place in your life because you care about them and they care about you.

If the father of your child is creating wedges in your interpersonal relationships, this may be a sign of him trying to isolate you.

Manipulators do this to better control the people they are manipulating. This is not an indication of love, although they may twist the narrative that way.

Do You Trust That They Are Faithful? 

If you find yourself investigating the women that the father of your child interacts with, ask yourself why you are having that reaction.

Do you have a suspicion that he might be unfaithful? Has he been in the past?

If you find yourself looking for answers on his phone rather than discussing it with him, this indicates that there is a lack of trust.

This lack of trust may be due to a lack of security in the relationship or a history of cheating, both indicators that love isn’t the driving force in the relationship.

If you are feeling insecure, you can approach your partner about this issue, and how they respond can tell you whether or not they love you.

Do they get irritated with you or make you feel crazy for feeling insecure, or do they meet you with compassion and reassure you that they love you? You will have to take the step and start that conversation with them.

Do You Feel Like “A Team?” 

Parenting is hard work. A way to know if your child’s father still loves you is if working together makes it a whole lot easier. Being “a team” is an important part of any relationship in general, but especially once you become parents together.

You may not always be on the same page but you will always be willing to work toward a solution. A man that loves you will pull his weight with the children and at home rather than leaving you to handle all of it alone, not thinking of how overwhelming that may be.

He will be involved in parenting your child and his relationship with you. If you feel like you’re dragging around dead weight, you’re probably right, and it’s likely time to close that chapter. 

Do You Walk Away From Discussions Feeling Heard? 

A huge part of a healthy relationship is the willingness to communicate. This helps a couple function as a team rather than two opposing forces.

When you express your feelings to him about something, does he listen? And I mean really listen. If he is engaging in behavior that is hurting you and you communicate that and he continues, he is not hearing you. If he loves you, he will try to understand you. 

Taking steps to know if your child's father still loves you is important.

Related: When Your Partner And Child Don’t Get Along

Is The Way That He Treats You Consistent?

You may be reading some of the above questions and noticing inconsistencies in the ways that he treats you.

He may be empathetic and understanding at times and call you names in the next breath. This erratic behavior can drive you crazy trying to figure out if they really love you and why they act the way that they do.

Sometimes emotionally manipulative people use a tactic called love bombing, where they shower their partner with affection to either prepare for or clean up their mistreatment.

A man that loves you will love you consistently. He will not go through phases where he mistreats you until you put up with enough to be rewarded with love and affection again. 

If you are wondering how to know if your child’s father still loves you, reading these questions should give you an idea.

If you realize you have been unappreciated or mistreated, I urge you to consider taking steps to do what’s best for you and if that involves you leaving the relationship, then so be it.

I learned these 10 signs the hard way. Ending a relationship with the father of your child can be a hard thing to do, but there is so much more to life than staying in a relationship where you aren’t loved properly.