Bringing Son’s Girlfriend On Vacation

Summer vacations are a great escape from the stresses of the world, but what do you do if your son asks you if he can bring his girlfriend along on the family trip? This is obviously a personal preference, but there is also a lot to consider even if you are fine with the possibility. We go over the pros and cons of inviting an extra guest and what you should contemplate before you decide.

Things to Consider When Deciding to Bring your Son’s Girlfriend On Vacation

Here are things to consider before you ultimately make your own decision. There is no “right” or “wrong” answer to this question. The answer really depends on too many factors for there to be a blanket answer.

Bringing Son's Girlfriend On Vacation

Consider Both Sides

The first thing to remember is that this is not just your decision. Whether you choose to be open-minded or turn the idea down, the girlfriend’s parents also have a say in this scenario. If this is something that you are open to, consult her parents before discussing your verdict with your son.

Secondly, when you present this invitation, be prepared to answer a multitude of questions. These can include her accommodations, the level of supervision as well as their family rules and yours. Also, make sure to discuss what the activities will be throughout your time away and the topic of financial responsibility. If you are hosting, then expect to pay for your guest.

Furthermore, if you haven’t had a proper introduction to her family, it may be best to have her parents over for dinner. This can allow them to become better acquainted with you and provide a better environment for an open discussion about this subject.

Consider The Cost

The average family of four will spend a little under $5,000 on a vacation. If you were planning on going to a family lake house or renting an Airbnb at the beach, having an extra guest doesn’t really change the cost of the trip. However, if you were planning to stay at a hotel, your son’s girlfriend tagging along requires you to obtain appropriate sleeping arrangements. Depending on the length of your stay, this can be quite an additional expenditure.

It is also imperative that you think about the activities for this trip. If you are headed to an amusement park or skiing while out of town, the price tag for the outings can add up quickly. In contrast, if you plan to go hiking, fishing, or renting a boat, the budget will stay intact!

Finally, food is another expenditure that you will have to cover. Again, if you are the type of family who mainly cooks at the cabin while enjoying the picturesque views of nature, an extra mouth to feed is pretty affordable! Sit down and tally up the costs. This can help you to determine your choice.

Consider Other Travelers

Does your son have siblings? If so, is his girlfriend someone they like and get along with? These are two very important questions because your other children will be spending a lot of time with this person over the span of your trip.

In the situation where your other kids have a good relationship with the potential added guest, this can bode extremely well for mom and dad. This can allow you to get some added alone time with a sanctioned babysitter one night. It also helps to ensure that no hanky panky happens while you are away.

However, if your son and his girlfriend are likely to pay no attention to your other child on the trip, this can lead to the sibling not having an enjoyable time and even resentment of their brother. Talking to your other child about how they would feel is an important step in this decision making process.

Consider How This Will Change The Trip

While we can all hope that our teenagers still think that we are cool and want to hang out with us, this is rarely the case. When you invite your son’s girlfriend on the trip, the dynamics will change even more.

On the one hand, having someone outside of the family join you can make everyone a little more polite and well behaved. This person can also engage in conversations and spark interest in activities that normally may not happen. This is a huge plus for some parents whose teenagers are typically disinterested in vacation plans.

However, there is also the chance that PDA could make certain scenarios uncomfortable. As the host, you are in charge of this person. This includes their safety, well-being, and ensuring that certain activities don’t escalate to something inappropriate. This can make the vacation feel a little less relaxing and a little more like a babysitting job for someone else’s kid.

Set Clear Guidelines

Every child is different. While some are more responsible, others can be a lot to handle. If you choose to bring your son’s girlfriend on vacation, make sure to sit down with them prior to the trip. Explain the ground rules.

Having clear guidelines can help to make certain that everyone is on the same page with the stipulations of the trip and the punishments that could follow if lines are crossed.

Finally, if the only thing holding you back from saying yes is the worry that they will end up in bed together, there is an easy solution. While not necessarily ideal for you and your husband, you can have the girls bunking with the girls and the boys bunking with the boys. This guarantees that no one can sneak away without you or your spouse noticing the departure.

Remember to Not Jump To a Conclusion

Even if the answer is a resounding “NO” from the start, take time to listen to their perspective and consider the idea. Your teen wants to feel heard and validated. Not only that, but they chose to come to you with a request. Treat them with the respect that they are giving you at this moment.

By not even contemplating the notion, you could be putting a damper on your entire vacation before you even go. It could also cause resentment and change your relationship with your teen.

When you tell them your conclusion on this matter, make sure to give them a reasonable rationale for your choice. There is still a chance that they will be upset, but by giving it some deliberation, they are likely to be a bit more understanding of the outcome.

So… Should You Bring Your Son’s Girlfriend on Vacation?

Once your child becomes old enough to start a relationship, they tend to want to be around that person all the time. If your son asks to bring his girlfriend on your family vacation, examine all the factors of the trip.

Evaluating cost and securing appropriate accommodations for her are two major parts of the decision-making process. You also want to reflect on how this choice will impact everyone. While your son may be more present throughout the trip, siblings may suddenly feel left out.

Ultimately, this decision is up to you. If you think that it could improve the family dynamic throughout your time away, it might be something to contemplate. However, this is a family trip. Therefore, once you determine if this is something you could make happen, have a conversation as a family to ensure that everyone involved is on board.