Relationships can either be a blessing or a toll. If you are in a situation where you are trying to find out how to get your son to break up with his girlfriend, this is a big issue that needs to be addressed.
There can be multiple reasons why something like that is coming to fruition. Making sure you approach this problem in the right manner is important because at the end of the day, it is your son and you want the best for him in any situation.
With that being said, here at the steps to take when you want your son to breckup with his girlfriend.
Identifying the Reason
Before you even think about interfering with your son’s relationship, you will have to have a valid reason to do so. And the reason better be a good one too.
The only time you should be trying to break up your son with his girlfriend would be if the girlfriend is a bad influence or if she is leading your son down a bad path.
For example, if you find out that the girlfriend does drugs that are harmful, that would be a good reason to talk to your son and get involved.
You need a reason to step into a relationship like that so it has to be a valid one. If you are noticing things that are harmful or going to be harmful in the long run, then it is a valid reason to step in.
Steps to take When Breaking up your Son with his Girlfriend
Here is the step by step process to getting your son to break up with his girlfriend.
1. Have a conversation with him
The First thing you will do is have a conversation with your son. Many parents try to forcefully get their son to break up with his girlfriend forgetting the fact that their son is the one in the relationship and his opinion matters in this decision.
A talk has to happen because it is better to sit down and reason than to escalate the situation.
You need to remember that you are essentially separating the closest person to your son so this is not something you should do without serious consideration.
When you have a talk with your son, you need to let him know that you are concerned and that you don’t like the situation that he is in. Present the reason to him why you are concerned.
It is important to let your son have a response back and to hear him out. Maybe he can explain to you something that you didn’t know. Maybe it can be a problem that can be easily fixed with some communication.
This is why it’s important to talk and discuss first before doing anything because a simple conversation may lead to a solution.
2. Come to a verdict
Once you and your son have discussed, a decision has to be made. This decision can be determined by multiple factors.
If you and your son come to an agreement, it is great because the situation can be handled smoothly without any extra problems.
You can also face a situation where your son is disagreeing with you completely and wants to stay with his girlfriend. You need to remember that at the end of the day, it is really hard to control who he is seeing when he is going out.
Even if you tell him he can’t see his girlfriend anymore, he will do it behind your back because that’s the reality nowadays with most kids. It is best to approach this problem by trying to make your son understand your concern.
If the issue you see with his girlfriend can be fixed then you should consider that. We are not perfect and everyone has things about them that might not seem right to other people.
A compromise with your son where you and he are okay with the outcome is what you should aim for.
3. If the Situation Warrants Interference
If the situation is very bad where it is starting to become harmful to your son, you should step in especially if they are still in their teens. The first step would be to try and cut off communication with the girl.
That can be from their cellphone or through social media apps. It is also important to make sure they are not meeting up or seeing each other.
If it is a situation where it involves drugs or criminal activity, this is when you should call professional help and let them handle that situation.
Do Not Force Him to Breakup With His Girlfriend
Forcing your son to break up with his girlfriend will lead to a divide between you and him. Unless there is physical, sexual, or mental harm to either him or his girlfriend, parents should stay uninvolved in the relationship.
Statistically, the relationship has little to no chance of becoming something serious. Especially if they are young the chances of them building a lasting relationship are slim to none.
Aggressively demanding that your son stop seeing someone is a quick way to build resentment. If he blames you for the breakup this resentment could last years and in some rare cases, never go away.
Forcing them to break up is the absolute last case scenario. Here is what I mean by forcing him:
- Not allowing him to see her.
- Taking away his phone
- Punishing him for seeing her communicating with her.
- Changing his schedule to avoid her.
Be very careful, don’t do something that is going to harm your relationship with your son for years.
Here are some common questions parents have when trying to figure out how to get their son to break up with his girlfriend.
When Should I force my son to break up with his girlfriend?
As mentioned before, the only time you should force your son to break up with his girlfriend is if either of them are being harmed physically, mentally, or sexually.
If that is the case, you should speak with a professional or a school counselor.
How long should I expect their relationship to last?
According to the national institute of health, the average teenage relationship lasts 1.8 years.
How Can I get my son to break up with her?
Manipulation is never advised. If your son were to find out that you were trying to get him and his girlfriend to break up that could do some serious damage to your relationship with him.
The reality is, parents don’t like the person their child is dating all the time, it is normal. But unless someone is in physical, emotional, or sexual harm, the best thing to do is let the relationship run its course.
Having open an honest conversations is the best way to tell your child how you feel and to build a long-lasting healthy relationship with them that will be carried into adulthood.