Heartbreaks can be one of the worst feelings ever. All of us have felt it at some point in our lives and it is especially harder for people who are still young. Many people have come up to me telling me “my son’s girlfriend broke his heart and I don’t know what to do”.
There are many reasons why couples fight and it can often lead to many bad things happening like someone being heartbroken.
It is tough as a parent to watch your children being heartbroken by a significant other. You wish you can help in any way but there are times where it almost seems impossible to do anything.
There are many reasons why someone’s heart can be “broken”. Finding out the reason why they are heartbroken is the most important thing. This will help you in trying to help the child.
Key Note
An important thing to remember as a parent is that children might lie when it comes to saying why they are heartbroken. This happens especially when it comes to the males because they can feel embarrassed by the situation.
This is due to the stigma that males are supposed to be tough and hold in feelings but this is wrong. Many young and older men deal with severe depression because of this.
This is the first point parents need to understand when it comes to dealing with a son that is heartbroken.
Parents need to understand that their son might not want to open up and speak from the heart because they are too embarrassed by the stigma. This is when the parents need to try to have their son open up and to create a comfortable environment for them to let go and not bottle up their emotions.
When you notice that your son is heartbroken, the first thing you should do is ask if everything okay.
This might not lead to anything but it will make your son aware that you notice it and that someone cares. This step is very key because when someone is heartbroken, they usually get depressed and feel like they are alone.
That little attention you give them is important because it will make them feel like they are not alone and have someone they can talk to.
What To Do
Whenever someone asks what to do if their son’s girlfriend broke their heart, I tell them it all depends on the age and how severe the heartbreak is. It is also important to understand the science behind heartbreaks because that can help lead you to a solution you can use to help your son.
If your son is young and is experiencing his first heartbreak, this can be a learning lesson for them when it comes to love. Explaining to them that many good things can come to an end is something they should understand. This fact will help them realize that too much attachment to someone or something is not good for you.
Since they are young and/or going through their first heartbreak, this will be the first time they will be feeling this way. To you, it might not feel like that big of a deal but it might feel like it’s the end of the world for them so making sure you don’t brush it off is important. Remember, no one can feel how another person feels so be conscious of that.
If They Open Up to You
If you are in a position where you know what happened or your son, this will be an easier process to handle. Knowing the details will lead you to find the help you need to fix this situation.
Many different issues require different solutions so knowing what help you can offer him is important. You can talk to them about their specific situation and you can use your knowledge to help.
You as a parent can also can think maturely compared to your son so your judgment on the situation can be important to help them.
If They Don’t Open Up to You
If your son does not want to open up tell you what happened, it is understandable because many times people want to keep things to themselves even if it’s from family.
Like I mentioned above, males tend to be embarrassed about why they are heartbroken and them spilling the tea can make them feel worse because it makes them look “weak”.
It can be hard as a parent to help your son in this situation since you don’t know the details but there are some things you can do that might help. A great way to have someone experienced with these situations talk to them would be to use therapy. We here at beingagoodparent understand how important it is to speak with professionals in moments like these so we have partnered up with professionals therapists who have helped countless people deal with heartbreak.
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1. Talk to Their Friends
Just because you can’t talk to them about their heartbreak doesn’t mean someone else cant. In many cases, people can be more comfortable talking with friends about sensitive issues rather than their parents.
If you are able to contact their close friends then do it. Let them know that your son seems to be sad and that you are reaching out to them to check up on your son and to try to talk with them.
The good thing about reaching out to their friends is that the friends can possibly know the son’s girlfriend that broke his heart and they can understand the situation more.
2. Give Them Motivation
When someone goes through a heartbreak, they will feel discouraged in their daily life and might seem to lose motivation when it comes to things they need to do like school. This can be a problem because this heartbreak can consume their life which will lead them to stray from their goals and tasks that they want to achieve.
This is especially concerning when your son is in college because this is the time where their academics matter that most. If you are in this situation or know someone that is dealing with this, click here to check out a great guide on how to stay motivated in college even if you are dealing with heartbreak.
Giving someone motivation when they are going through this phase is a must. They feel defeated inside and feel like they lost all hope but they don’t understand that this feeling will go away.
They are stuck in the moment and can’t seem to be able to leave so it is our job to show unconditional support and to uplift them.
If you have an older son, sending him motivational videos and pictures is a great way to offer him some uplifting vibes because they can sit back and reflect on their own after consuming motivational content.
3. Take Them Out
When someone is heartbroken, they tend to want to stay alone and not go out as often as they used to. If your son is like this, it is time for you to step in and set up a day or a part of the day where you can go out to clear his mind.
The possibilities are endless when it comes to this. You can take them out to their favorite restaurant, go on a hike, take a vacation, or many more things.
This can be an escape from reality for them and it might help clear their mind. This strategy has helped many people out because as they get to clear their minds more and more, they end up getting out of that heartbroken phase much quicker.
One of the best ways to find places to go is through Groupon. The deals I find on it are amazing and I always recommend it to anyone who ever needs to find places to go or restaurants to eat.
The reason I use them is that they have amazing deals that usually cost a lot but through Groupon, they are discounted. When I know someone is going through a personal struggle like heartbreak, I look up an activity on Groupon to do and take them.
4. Contacting the Significant Other
This can be an important step if the option is still available. Many times, couples fight and act on emotion rather than reason. The girlfriend might have done something that broke his heart due to acting on emotion.
This is a big problem when people fight because they can do things they don’t mean just because it was in the moment. When emotional thinking gets involved, all logic disappears and it can cause people to lose their sense of thinking.
This happens in many cases and these types of problems can be fixed if both parties talked it out after taking a break and not contacting each other.
Suggest to your son that he takes a break from contacting the girlfriend. Letting things settle and having time to think without contact is very important.
A typical break can be a few days and can go up to a couple of weeks depending on the severity of the situation. Advise your son that a break is needed and if the girlfriend contacts him, he should let her know that he needs a small break to think and come back with a clear mind.
This can work if the issue at hand is not too significant. If the problem is a major one and the girlfriend did something despicable, it’s best that your son should not seek to contact his significant other especially if it was a toxic relationship.
Here is a great video by Psych2Go about dealing with breakups.
Final Thought
Heartbreak is one of the worst feelings someone can feel especially if it’s coming from someone that is close to them. Events happen in relationships every day and fights/arguments can happen which can result in someone being heartbroken.
When your in a situation where your son’s girlfriend broke his heart, it can be a hard place to be in because it hurts to see your child be sad. But with proper steps, a broken heart can be restored.