What To Say When Your Parents Find Your Vape

Vaping is a hot topic in the news these days amongst researchers, scientists, educators, and politicians. The rise of teen vaping has been expediential is usually done secretly and often with products disguised as watches, pens, or other household objects so they are not caught by their parents. The day will come though when your mom cleans your room and finds it. If you are a child and you don’t know what to say when your parents find your vape, you will need to come up with a way to explain.

When your parents find the vape, they will most likely throw a fit and become angry and concerned. Now, you’re waiting for THE TALK which all of us have experienced as kids. There are a dozen different scenarios playing out in your head about how this will all turn out none of them typically end well for you. Will you be grounded until you leave for college? Will they make you stop seeing your friends? so many different consequences can be placed on you because of what they discovered.

You’re not surprised by their reaction to your vaping. You knew they wouldn’t approve which is why you’ve been doing it secretly. But you just don’t get why they’re making such a big deal about the whole thing. You feel like they are acting as if this is one of the worse things you could ever do.

What To Say When Your Parents Find Your Vape

What Your Parents Are Thinking

For your parents, this is not only about your vaping. Adults tend to see things holistically, especially when it comes to parenting. They are worried that your new “habit” is part of a larger pattern or problem to come.

People tend to start using these products when they are either influenced by their friends or are going through an issue in life.

If you are dealing with an internal issue and don’t know what to say when your parents find your vape, you need to explain to them why.

Before THE TALK, think about the reasons why you decided to start vaping. Did you feel pressured? Are you trying to quit traditional smoking by using e-cigarettes? All your friends are doing it, so why not? Do just think it’s cool and fun? Are you trying to relieve stress? Talk about these feelings with your parents.

If you feel there’s something happening in your life that can affect your judgment or self-esteem, this would be a good time to share it with your parents. It can help them to understand why you decided to start vaping secretly.

When your parents – and you – have a better handle on why you decided to start using e-cigarettes, the door is open for them to calmly express their specific concerns and for you to be more receptive.

The Law

Are you old enough to be smoking or vaping? In December 2019, the federal minimum legal age to buy e-cigarettes and other tobacco products was raised from 18 to 21 in all states. It’s illegal for stores to sell vaping devices, e-liquid, or vape pods to people under age 21.

Naturally, your parents are worried that you’re breaking law if you are under the age of 21. If you are caught vaping by law enforcement, you or your family would face fines or penalties based on the state where you live and that is the last thing you want to happen.

Health & Addiction

There’s no doubt that nicotine is an addictive substance and can have serious health consequences. Vaping pens can be modified to use tobacco, liquid nicotine, or marijuana – all addictive substances. 

Addiction is very sneaky and you may think that you can stop vaping any time you choose but it won’t be as easy as throwing out your vape pen. These urges come back stronger and the addiction drives you back to it.

Their concerns about how e-cigarettes can affect your health are completely valid. The human brain is not fully developed until around the age of 25. As a teen, nicotine can affect the areas of your brain that control concentration, learning, mood, and self-control. 

Your parents are thinking about your risks for lung disease. In 2019 the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention linked vaping to 1,479 cases of a mysterious lung disease that killed at least 33 people.

You need to explain why you started vaping.

A Question of Trust

Your parents may feel that you have betrayed their trust by using the e-cigarettes “behind their backs.” They know that as a teenager, you’re often faced with hard decisions and they want to be confident that you’ll make smart choices based on the values they’ve taught you. When they see behavior that doesn’t match up, they can feel that they’ve somehow failed you.

Your parents may quickly understand and forgive impulsive actions, such as a dangerous joy-ride in a friend’s car but when it comes to things like vaping, it takes planning and deliberate effort and it looks like you deceive them.

What’s in Your Vape Pen?

Maybe you’ll tell your folks that you don’t use nicotine so that makes it safer. You should know that research is still ongoing and it’s really too early to tell the long-term impacts of e-cigarettes, with or without nicotine. The vape flavorings that sound so yummy to eat become harmful when they are vaporized and inhaled.

Many teens also believe that vaping is better than smoking cigarettes. However, as there are no standard nicotine levels for e-cigarettes, some brands can have more or less nicotine than regular cigarettes. Many people assume that E-cigarettes are sold as being safer than traditional cigarettes but this isn’t necessarily true.

“As more and more research comes out, I think that we’re not surprised to find that the e-cigarette industry has not been truthful and forthcoming about the chemicals that their products do contain,” Erika Sward, assistant vice president of national advocacy for the American Lung Association.

So you need to understand that this should not be an excuse to use until further research comes out proving so.

Are All Your Friends Vaping?

Whatever you say, please don’t tell your mom and dad that all your friends are vaping. It won’t matter to them that 3.6 million middle and high school students are using e-cigarettes. If you do go ahead with the ‘all my friends’ defense, they’ll most likely tell you to stay away from them because of their bad influence.

Parents know all about how teens need to “fit in”. In fact, you don’t even have to be a parent to know this because we have all been at that stage at one point or another. Teenagers aren’t the only ones who are influenced by their peers and the desire for acceptance is a normal human instinct that never goes away. As we become older and wiser, we learn to examine our motivations by see them for what they are and make better decisions instead of trying to fit in.

If you decided to vape just to fit in with the crowd, take some time to think about that.  What other options did you have?  Is being like everyone else more important than your health? Your mom or dad will also ask you the same questions. Don’t be afraid to answer them honestly because this could be a turning point in your communications.

There are many health problems that come from vaping.

Targeting Children & Teens

The e-cigarette industry targets most of its advertising toward young people.  One well-known e-cigarette company has advertised its products on popular youth media such as Nickelodeon, the Cartoon Network, and Seventeen magazine, as well as on educational sites for middle school and high school students.

Maybe you’re an independent thinker and you wanted to vape to feel what it’s like and not because everyone was doing it. You may even read the reports claiming that vaping isn’t dangerous if you stick to the flavored kind. This often might not be true because marketers will say and do whatever they need to sell their products and will often pay for research that will back up their claims.

Doing your own research is the best thing you should do in this situation. It’s even smarter to look at the source and make sure it is a credible one.

Final Thoughts

It can be hard to have open discussions on difficult topics with your parents. There will be a time when you don’t know what to say when your parents find your vape. You will become nervous and scared from the reaction they might give.

If you are also under 18, your parents might start restricting your freedom.

Share your thoughts about vaping and the reasons you decided to use e-cigarettes. When they better understand your frame of mind, they can give you better support and guidance. Your mother finding your vape could be the beginning of a more open and honest relationship.