As we grow older, we get to a point where it is time to move out of our parent’s house and start a new life on our own. It may seem wild to stay past the age of 30 but there are many people who are 50 and still living with their parents.
If that is the case for you or someone that you know, it is time to fix the situation. The only reason why someone should still live with their parents at the age of 50 would be if they have any physical or mental problems they need assistance with or they are the ones taking care of their elderly parents.
Other than that, living with your parents when you are 50 should not be happening because, at that age, an individual should already be independent of their parents and should be taking full responsibility for themselves. Many experiences and lessons are also not being felt and learned which is also a big issue for someone at that age.
Why Some 50 Year Old’s Still Live With Their Parents
So why do some 50 year old’s still live with their parents? The most common reason everyone assumes is that they just have not gotten their life together by then which could be a real possibility. But when you take a deeper dive there could be a wide variety of reasons to still live with your parents when you’re 50.
Haven’t found their Path
Some people simply have not found their path in life. Some of us are lucky enough to find out what we want to do with our lives when we are in our 20s or 30s but some people are just unlucky and get into their 50s without knowing what they want their life to look like.
Although it may be easy to mock, this is a difficult problem they have to deal with. Imagine walking through life not having any goals or passions and just going through the motions day in day out.
If this is you or someone your know, they need to expand their horizons. Find things that they may be interested in and really pursue them with a high degree of urgency. I had an uncle that still lived with my grandparents in his late 40s. He had an alright paying job and was single, he just had nothing driving him every day.
Once he found his passion of being an archer, things started to change for him. He moved in with some of his archery friends he met at a meetup. He would go on archery hunting trips once a month and the remainder of the month he would target practice. The point is he found something, no matter how trivial, to give him a purpose and drive.
Taking Care of Their Parents
What many forget when they hear of a 50-year-old still living with their parents is that by the time you are 50, your parents are likely in their mid to late 70s and are going to start needing some serious attention.
If someone is still living with their parents there is a good chance that their parents are the ones living with them. In many cultures, it is actually really common for the elderly to move back in with their children once they can no longer take care of themselves.
What your Missing Out On
Experiences
One of the biggest things that a 50-year-old is missing out on while living with their parents is the experiences and lessons learned. When living with your parents, you are still dependent on them and you are not taking full responsibility for yourself. Even if you are paying your own bills, you are still living under someone else’s roof.
No matter how responsible you think you are by helping with house responsibilities it is still a fraction of the responsibility of running your own home. Many including myself believe leaving your parents home takes your maturity to the next level.
Starting a Family
Starting your own independent family is difficult to do when still living with your own parents. “Starting a Family” does not have to include children if you do not want it to. You a partner and a dog is considered a family in my book.
There is a certain satisfaction of being the head of your own household. Even though it will be scary especially if you have been living with your parents for so long but eventually you are going to have to take that scary leap into independence. You will struggle at first but over time things will get easier. Before you know it you can’t imagine living with your parents ever again,
Steps to take
To get ready to move out, there are steps that need to be done so the move can become successful.
1. Financial Preparation
The first and possibly most difficult step to moving out of your parent’s home is to get your finances in order. Sit down with a paper and pencil and calculate how much you need to be earning per month to survive living on your own. Then take that number and multiply it by 1.25 to allow a 25% wiggle room for miscellaneous expenses.
For example, let’s say I still live with my parents and I am looking to move out. Here in Cincinnati, I’ve calculated my minimum expenses for living in the neighborhood I would like to live in at $1,200. This includes rent, food, insurance, transportation, etc. Now I’m going to multiple $1,200 by 1.25 to get $1,500. So I need to earn a minimum of $1,500 to survive from month to month.
Also, you’ll need an emergency fund to protect yourself against unexpected events like your car breaking down or needing a new computer. Your emergency fund should equal 3 times your monthly expenses.
So in this case our monthly expenses are $1,500 x 3 = $4,500. So you need $4,500 in savings and $1,500 every month to survive on your own. Once you break it down, it stops being so scary. Now you have a clear financial goal to work for. In this case, it would be to get my monthly income up to $1,500 and have a $4,500 emergency fund.
Calculate the numbers you need to move out then start taking action. Start looking for work. If you already have work start saving or get a side gig to get your monthly income where it needs to be.
Pro Tip: Many 50-year-olds that are still living with their parents are doing so because the cost of living in the city they live or too high. I’ve experienced this first hand. My family lives in Los Angeles and if I wanted to get my own place there I would have needed to make much more money than I was making. So I decided to go out of state to start my own life. Was it scary? Yes. Was it worth it? Hell yes.
2. Emotional Preparation
If you’ve been living with your parents for 50 years, it is not going to be easy on them or you when you move out. Especially now that they are older, we do not want them to get the idea that we are just leaving them.
Be sure to have a gentle conversation with your parents about how you need your independence and that you really appreciate all they have done for you. If you think they need it, consider getting a place close by to them so that you can visit a few times a week.
Preparing both your own and your parents emotional health for the move is an important step.
3. Take Action
the last step is to simply take action. Once you have created a strategy for how you will get financially ready and have talked to your parents, it’s time to finally make the move. Start saving money every month, start looking for apartments or houses for rent.
Talking about moving out is easy, actually doing it is a whole other ball game.
Final Thoughts
Unless your parents are ill and in need of care, a 50-year-old should not still be living with their parents. Although it may be hard both financially and emotionally it is time to take adulthood to the next level.
Whether your are reading this for yourself or someone else, it’s time to take action. Today, right now, grab a piece of paper and a pencil and start mapping out a plan to live independently.