First, I’m going to establish some basics. When asking should you let your 15-year-old son sleep with his girlfriend, we are talking about sex. No 15-year-old just wants to cuddle with his girlfriend. I know the tricks, I was a teenager once too.
This is an easy question to answer because the answer does not matter. If a 15-year-old has a consenting girlfriend, there is little a parent can do to stop it.
Why Should Let Your Son Sleep With His Girlfriend
The fact that you know that he wants to sleep with his girlfriend (or even better yet he asked to) means you have an open line of communication with your son. A teen communicating with their parents is pretty rare these days.
If you tell him no, there is still a very high chance that he will do it anyway and will lie to you about it. In a way, you would be forcing him to break the honesty and communication between you and him.
By allowing your 15-year-old son to sleep with his girlfriend, he is encouraged to be honest and open with you. Although it may feel very weird at the moment knowing that your son is out there having sex, it is better for your relationship with him in the long term.
Sex Education
By knowing whether or not your son is sleeping with someone allows you to have a serious conversation about safe sex and avoiding teenage pregnancy. Many parents refuse to face the fact that their kids are having sex and this leads to unprotected intimacy between the teens.
It is an uncomfortable conversation to have with our kids but it is one of the most important conversations we should never overlook. Because my parents thought I was celibate until I got married, they did not have the “sex” talk with me until the night before my wedding. I was 29 when I got the sex talk. I was laughing hysterically.
Anyway, make sure to have this conversation with your children as soon as you believe they are mature enough to handle it. Do not rely on the school system to teach your teens about responsible sex. Children are rarely able to learn about sex in front of their friends.
As much as you want them to stay celebrate, it is hard these days to do that and you have little to no chance of convincing your teen to “wait till marriage”. Those days are behind us and as much as we may not like it as parents, our children are going to have sex whether we like it or not.
Consent and Respect
Knowing your son is going to be sleeping with his girlfriend allows you to have a conversation even more important than the “sex talk” and that is the consent and respect conversation. Although many parents overlook this conversation, it is something that should be mentioned.
Explain to your child what consent is and how to respect a woman in bed. How to have a conversation before about what she is comfortable with. Teens are never taught these things and end up learning through horrifical embarrassing experiences.
It is also important to explain to them that the girl needs to be completely fine with this happening. This is the whole concept of getting consent.
Many times, boys will tell their friends that their girlfriend is fine with having sex when in reality, she is hesitant and would rather wait. This will lead to the girl being pressured by the son to have sex and can lead to many problems ahead.
This is why consent is very important in this world of sex. If both parties (the son and his girlfriend) are not 100% sure that they should have sex, then it should not happen.
Maturity
Another factor that takes place when answering this question is if your son is mature or not.
Many people think that a 15-year-old isn’t mature yet for their age but that is farther than the truth. There are many people that age who are mature enough to make the right decision.
He could’ve easily done this action behind ur back but by him bringing up the topic shows the maturity in him. You have to appreciate the honesty from him and by him doing that, it is a good sign that he is mature enough to know what he is getting into.
Her Parents
Another thing that you need to go over with your son is that her parents should have an idea that this is happening. As a parent, we don’t want our children to go through things without us knowing.
Just like the son asked his parents, his girlfriend should do the same so her parents are aware of what is happening.
It wouldn’t be fair to the parents of the girlfriend not to know what their daughter is going into. Sex isn’t something small that should just be overlooked, it is designed to be an intimate activity that has many pros and cons to it.
Her parents not knowing is disrespecting them and if the relationship is serious, this is the last thing you want to do.
Safe Environment
The next thing that needs to be gone over if you are going to let your 15-year-old sleep with his girlfriend is that it needs to be done in a safe environment.
Whether it’s your house or the girlfriend’s house, it has to be done in a safe space. The great thing is that they are 15 and can’t drive yet so they won’t have the chance to just drive off and find any spot in a parking lot to do it.
They are limited on the places they can do it unless their friends offer a place which is still a bad idea because it is not an environment they are familiar with.
The reason they need a safe place is because sex is a very private activity that puts both people engaging in a vulnerable position. If they are around people or are caught doing it by others, it can cause many problems.
Final Thought
There are many points that need to be understood if you let your 15-year-old son sleep with his girlfriend. It is a very sensitive topic and if your son came to talk to you about it, take him seriously and don’t brush it off. It’s better than scrolling through his phone and seeing inappropriate texts.
If you don’t educate him properly, it can lead to potential problems the down the line.
He needs to also understand how to respect the action and to make sure that the girlfriend consents to this activity. With that being said, your 15-year-old son can sleep with his girlfriend if he is educated, responsible and mature.