With all the work pressure and activities taking place in your day, dealing with kid’s bad behaviors feels more like an extreme sport. We all expect them to act a certain way but more times than not they easily disappoint.
Parents go through a lot of stressful activities especially at work it’s not surprising to see them lash out at their young ones even at the smallest of things. The question is how can we stop yelling at our children?
It does more harm than good
We don’t realise as parents how much harm yelling does to them. Only later to discover they now deal with esteem issues and mainly being afraid of you when they should not.Our kids become so reserved and not open to wards us. A result of ill treatment. There simply is no excuse to constantly shout at children for almost everything bad they do. Establishing levels of disciplining them is important.
We often let emotions get in the way of logic and reason. This is mainly why adults like to show their authority in the house whole more blatantly to children by simply having a more visious way of communication. We also often find our selves blaming children and lashing out at them and convince ourselves that they don’t do what their told or are disobedient. Its important to note the exact situations that trigger that switch in order to stop yelling at children
Addressing the root cause is one way to eliminating yelling. Yelling at a your kids may stem from growing up in a household where yelling was normal. You can change this way of parenting by simply practicing each day the art of calming down. When you are wronged by someone at home,practice addressing them in a soft tone. You’ll get the hang of it with time.
Its a known fact that won’t change for generations to come. Having kids will test us almost always. It will almost drive us crazy trying to follow after them. We find ourselves yelling at the top of our voices mainly when exhaustion kicks in. Ontop of the job and chores. We happen to be engulfed by exhaustion. It brings out the worst in us
Here are some more brief reasons on what stirs up yelling that we might need to take into consideration:
Authority gives adults an excuse to be wrong but still get away with it. We know that the young ones can’t do it back to us without getting into trouble. So we do it simply because no one is around to tell us otherwise.
Kids repeat mistakes many times.but our exhaustion cloaks our thinking and makes us believe the mistake was intentional.Relax they are children.They are going to mess up almost daily. Patience is key and must be applied when dealing with kids. We all pass this stage.
Third, Yelling gets us what we want when we want. If someone told you to do the dishes in a soft tone. You’d probably wait a bit, make a cup of coffee, then later start doing them,but if they yell at you WASH THE DISHES NOW! You won’t think twice about picking up plates and getting started. Yelling gives of fast results.
Lack of patience
We yell because we never grew up being taught the importance of patience and calmness.We find it difficult to implement patience when the opportunity presences itself.We demand things to be done when we want and how want.If you are impatient. It’s time to start practicing.Any adults can stop yelling at their children if they put patients first
As parents we need to learn that being in a stressed state should not be an excuse to shout at children. Your emotions should remain disclosed towards them. Think to yourself would you enjoy having someone lash out at you everyday just because they are having a bad day. Putting yourself in their shoes will help you understand the importance of that.
Children need a figure to look up to, one that will make them feel safe. Keeping a smiley face when your feeling emotional inside is a difficult task . But it’s a Task non the less that needs to be done.
The question now is how can adults restrain from showing too much emotion under stress.
Take some time away from the kids. A hot bath and a good read is the best remedy for a bad day. For moms this may seem too far fetched given the amount of chores that forever pile up.Its very doable if your able to find someone to help out with the children while you rest.Try setting your emotions from elswere aside with a little more practice one could get good at it.
Address your problems quick enough before they bubble to the surface and affect everyone. It often takes time for many people to understand what bothers them even as adults it’s an undermined thing. Finding out the issues quick enough leads to resolutions that are faster and an even happier you.Getting a spouse or a peer to talk to will make this job easier.
Calm Parenting—Is calm parent a myth an ideology or does it actually exist. From what I’ve been explaining about, it can be achieved. You must continuously invest in yourself, healing, getting healthy and being more open to any loved one who cares for your wellbeing.
Despite all efforts of being calm around our loved ones. When our buttons are pushes it seems almost impossible to stay away from the yelling door. Setting boundaries with your children can work effectively. You must show certain lines not to cross. They might think it’s a game at first but show them with actions the level of seriousness.
It’s no secret parenting can expose us to our own deepest and darkest self..which we always hope to keep buried inside.Our children end up growing in a household where they think we are monsters and those behaviours are passed down to them aswell. Remember your children are a true reflexion of you and must be fed the right type of lifestyle.You must choose to stop yelling at them. We just need a change of lifestyle.