If your 10-year-old has been watching inappropriate videos, it’s time to sit down and have a serious talk with them. No, not the birds and the bees talk. They’ve seen enough of that already; otherwise, you wouldn’t be looking this up.
Someone at that age should not be consuming this type of content so taking the proper measures to not have this happen again is important.
It’s important to talk about how a developing brain responds to visual sexual stimuli and explain that the inappropriate videos they see do not represent what sex really is.
Taking Prtoective Messuers
The first and best thing you need to do if your 10-year-old watching inappropriate videos is to use a protective website blocker. A great one that is used by many families is NetNanny.
This program blocks any online content that might be inappropriate for young kids effectively so parents do not have to constantly worry and monitor what their children are watching. I personally use this in my house to ensure that my young children do not consume anything that is harmful to the brain and our morals.
Steps To Take If 10-Year-Old Is Watching Inappropriate Videos
At the age of 10, your child can comprehend most things. Don’t wear blinders and assume your child isn’t capable of understanding certain concepts until they are adults.
This simply isn’t true. Instead, pay careful attention to what your child is talking about with their friends, and when they approach you with questions, answer them. Please don’t save the talk for later because you can bet your bottom dollar that they’re going to investigate on their own.
This is why they watch inappropriate videos. It probably started with a keyword they’d heard from a friend and were too embarrassed to admit their ignorance about. Typing “blow-job” into Google isn’t going to land scientific explanations. Instead, it provides thousands of videos of the act.
How you react to this is essential.
If you punish them for their curiosity, you lose all control of the conversation. Remaining calm and having open and honest talks allows you to carefully orchestrate an age-appropriate education.
This isn’t a one-time thing, either. It would be best if you addressed it often, at least every six months.
If they’re in school, they hear tons of words and explanations from their friends, and they’ll find ways to get answers even if you take away all their electronics. By frequently checking in with them, you can give them a foundation that ensures they stay safe and informed.
Kids Begin Talking About Sex At Young Age.
Here’s the thing, I’ve worked as a substitute teacher for years.
Kids now have access to insane amounts of sexual fodder on the internet, on the shows they watch, and even in books in the library (though that is minimal). There are half-naked women on billboards on every interstate and underwear model men on signs in every mall. Nearly every adult show and half of the kid’s cartoons have a sexual joke and the commercials that are out nowadays are full of sexual innuendos.
At this point, you know that sex sells. There’s no doubt about it, and marketing has capitalized on this.
America has this weird half-fascination with wanting sex and still calling it taboo. Because of this, kids as young as second grade are talking about penises, vaginas, and sex in general.
This doesn’t mean their home life is trashy or they’ve been abused; it simply means they’re aware of their surroundings and they’ve discovered this giant “secret” that they know they shouldn’t talk about, so they do the only thing they can…talk about it with each other and search the internet.
This causes a lot of kids to get very curious and seek out answers for themselves, often resulting in bad decisions and unhealthy sex lives later on because when they innocently question their parents, the response is, “we will talk about that when you are older.”
Our children are reaching puberty as young as nine years old. Hormones play a huge role in their fascination with sex. Saving these talks for later, when they’re ready to become sexually active or already are, is too late.
It’s Time To Normalize Sex (The Right Way)
No, your child shouldn’t be having sex until they are an adult and can do so responsibly and with full consent. Still, keeping sex taboo and awkward in their formative years creates a vacuum that’s easily filled with a LOT of misinformation.
A 10-year-old watching inappropriate videos is already being misguided about the topic so taking the time now to really help explain the consequences of watching these videos will be beneficial.
The Talk I Had With My Child Was Eye-Opening.
So what did I do when I caught my ten-year-old watching an inappropriate video? I sat her down and explained that porn isn’t real.
By engaging in watching it, she’s training her brain to respond to sexual stimuli that will alter her ability to attain sexual gratification when she is older. I told her it was perfectly normal to be curious, and I was happy to answer any questions she had.
I tried to normalized sex in the proper way by explaining that when two (or more) consenting adults come together, it can be a beautiful experience, but she won’t be ready for that for many years.
We ended up talking for two or three hours as I answered all of her questions. She wanted to know why porn was bad. I stated that it just sets up unrealistic expectations, and it’s just like any other movie. I literally likened it to the Marvel franchise. It looks good, but none of it is real.
I explained that porn trains your brain to get sexual gratification from acts that minimize a woman’s enjoyment.
This is disastrous for both men and women because a healthy sex life starts with verbalization during the act. No one in porn discusses anything, and many men are flabbergasted (if they even notice) when their female partners aren’t enjoying themselves because the women in porn are having a great time gratifying the man without reciprocation. It sets up expectations that aren’t healthy and normal.
I told her that sex should be a very personal exploration between consenting adults with plenty of verbal cues. We teach our kids that no means no, but we don’t teach them to speak up about things they’re interested in with their partners.
I cannot even count the number of women I’ve encountered that hate having sex with their husbands, and yet they do it anyway because that’s the norm here in America.
Related: When your child betrays your trust
This Is Part Of Parenting.
We are their primary source of information when they are still at a young age so it is our job to educate them as best we can so they understand how the world around them works. Having a healthy conversation about sex will strip the mystery surrounding the topic and will set our children up with proper knowledge around the subject
It can be uncomfortable discussing sex with your child, but keeping an open dialogue is crucial.
Many teenagers have sex before they are ready because they’re trying to be “cool.” This type of influence has been ravishing younger kids into committing acts that they regret later on and a big reason for that is the inappropriate videos they consume. Seeing the actors in action makes them think that this can be a reality for them which will make them actively seek sex to satisfy their needs.
We need to stop relying on schools to educate our kids about sex. Until there’s a proper system set-up, sex education is woefully inadequate. The only form of education that 10-year-old is receiving is through the inappropriate videos they watch.
Taking the steps as a parent to prevent them from watching videos like these will make a difference in their life.