There comes a time in someone’s life where they are ready to take responsibility for themselves and go out into the world. If your 18-year-old wants to move out, there can be multiple reasons why they would want to take such a big step like that.
The thought might seem scary at first because as many adults know, the world can be a scary place, especially for a young 18-year-old. You have raised your child all these years and seeing them want to leave can bring you mixed emotions.
What to do if Your 18-Year-Old Wants to Move Out
When the day comes where your son or daughter turns 18 and wants to move out, it can seem shocking. Staying calm and composed is important because if you overreact, you can make the situation worse for yourself and your child.
Something that you need to know and understand is that an 18-year-old does have the freedom to move out if they want to.
Legally, you can’t do anything or try to stop them from leaving so when you are discussing why they want to move out, try to use the time wisely and really talk about why instead of trying to stop them.
If you are completely against the idea of moving out, you should really urge them to rethink their decision and see if you can make a compromise to make them stay.
Many times, it can take a simple change for the child to reconsider the decision and stay at home. Do not use anger or force to prove your point either because, at the end of the day, they can leave if they want. It’s best that you have a calm and mature conversation, not a hostile one.
Talk It Out
The first thing that needs to be done if you have an 18-year-old that wants to move out is to talk to them and understand the reason. There can be many reasons why they want to take that big of a step so understanding their reason is key in this situation.
The most important thing the parent should be doing in this situation is to listen to the 18-year-old. They are taking such a big step and that step requires a lot of courage to do so. With all the pressure they are feeling, this is a time to let them speak their mind.
When they tell you their reason, sit back and listen to what they are saying. Put yourself in their shoes and see why they would want to do this. After hearing their reason, you can state your opinion and what you think about this situation.
An important thing to remember is that you need to be open-minded in this situation. Even if you have a different opinion, understanding and letting them make their case is key.
After hearing and discussing why they want to move out, you as the parent should assess the circumstances.
1. Financial Situation
The first aspect you need to make sure of is their financial situation and if they can support themselves.
Many 18-year-olds have found ways to make enough income to support themselves so if your 18-year-old can support themselves and are financially literate, you can relax a bit and be confident that they are going to be okay.
If you feel like your 18-year-old does not have any financial education, it is important for you to inform them about how they can think about becoming financially free.
For example, explaining to them what investing means and how they can start at an early age can be a game-changer for your child that wants to move out.
2. Where Are They Moving To
The next thing to assess would be where they are planning to move to. It can be related to the reason why they’re moving out or it can be a totally different reason.
At the end of the day, it all comes down to why so if they can explain why they are going to a specific place, it should not be alarming.
3. Are They Independent
This is something you will be able to tell pretty easily. Some 18-year-olds can change a spare tire and some can’t even make an omelet.
If the 18-year-old can be independent and have the knowledge and skill to be able to live on their own, it is a good sign that they can manage themselves without much trouble.
If your 18-year-old is not ready, it is your job to teach them the essential skills they need to know before they leave. Explain to them what they should expect and how they should go along with doing things.
Show them how they can find a place to rent, how to get health and car insurance, and all the other basic needs they would need to know and have when they are on their own.
4. Roommates?
Another factor that plays into an 18-year-old moving out would be if they are planning to have roommates or live alone.
They are most likely moving out and living with roommates because not a lot of 18-year-olds can afford to live on their own unless they are extreme with their budget.
If they are moving in with their friend/s, it can be a good or bad thing depending on who they are. If their roommates are responsible people that have their life together, it is a good sign. If it is the opposite situation and the roommates are living have no goals or ambition to better their life, this can be a problem.
5. Substance Abuse
Another important factor is if you know that your 18-year-old consumes substances like alcohol or drugs. If your 18-year-old does consume things of that nature, this can be a problem because once they have their own space, their consumption is most likely going to rise.
Talk to them about your concern with their use of substances and let them know that you are worried that them having their own place will lead to more use.
You can find ways to help them stop their use before they move out.
Talk About Their Plan for Moving Out
An important talk to have with them is understanding what their plan is moving on. Are they going to continue on to college? Are they finding a job and working? Are they start their own Business? Knowing what their plan has to be addressed because if they are clueless, this can lead to problems down the line.
Have them write a 5-year plan of what they are planning to do and accomplish because someone who is prepared will always have a plan when doing something.
Transitioning Into Moving Out
Once you have a timeline of when they are planning to move out, you should then take steps with them to get them situated. Help them with anything they might need help with.
Even if you disagree with this whole process, it is in your best interest to still help them and not leave them because they are still young and vulnerable. You as a parent should be looking out for your children as much as possible even if the terms are not the best.
Offer your support and let them know that you have their backs because they are most likely feeling a lot of pressure with this decision.
If they know that you are there for them whenever they need it, this will take away any extra pressure and stress from them which will lead to an easier transition.
Final Thought
Many parents have to face the fact that their 18-year-old wants to move out. It can seem shocking and can catch you off guard because of how unexpected it can seem.
It can sometimes feel like your child betrayed your trust which is a terrible feeling. This is a big step for them and they are about to go on their own journey so when you are approached by the child, have an open mind when hearing them.
With proper steps and knowledge of the situation, your 18-year-old can transition into their new journey without you being worried.