Parenting is one of the hardest things to do when it comes to life. It can take a mental and physical toll on you as the years go by. If being a mom is too much for you, understand that you’re not alone. There are many mothers going through this issue but luckily, there is a solution.
There are 3 steps that you will need to take to solve this problem.
- Identfy the key issues
- Create a game plan
- Take action
When approaching this issue, you need to remember that there can be many different reasons why being a mom is too much for you. This also means that each problem will require its own strategic solution.
Being a parent is a huge responsibility and it needs a lot of preparation.
Taking care of a child is not a small task. Dedicating your life to being the best mother you can be needs to be on your list of top priorities.
Best way to combat this issue
When it comes to overall parenting, one of the best ways to combat any issues you are dealing with is by journaling.
This is why we recommend every parent to start journaling whenever they can so they can clear their mind.
There are many benefits to journaling, including gaining self confidence, reducing stress and anxiety, and achieving goals.
Many times, when parents are dealing with problems that have to do with their children, they keep the bad emotions they are experiencing to them selfs. By doing this, they create tension within themselves.
The tension created within themselves will eventually implode and this will cause many issues down the line.
With that being said, mothers need a way to vent privately so they can release any tension built up inside of them. They will be able to have a clear mind and think logically about how to fix the issue at hand.
We as a parenting community have gone through many journals to identify the best one and we have decided to partner up with PromptlyJournals.
Promptly Journals have many different prompted journals. They are basically writing prompts that help you stay on track with what to write. They ask you certain things and you answer with all honesty.
The questions they ask are engaging and will surely make you think clearly as you are going through the process. You as a mother will have a great journaling session and will gain many positive rewards.
Finding Why Being a Mom is Too Much
There are different ways to approach this problem because like I mentioned, being a mother can be hard for many different reasons.
You as a mom need to find out what aspect of parenting is hard and work towards fixing that aspect. Something that is recommended is to approach this problem with more of a logical aspect rather than emotional. This might sound crazy at first since a mother’s connection with their child is purely emotional but if you can use logic, you can solve this issue faster.
It’s important to remember that all kids act differently than others. Your child is unique in their own way so every parent has to take a different approach when dealing with them.
Age
A factor that you need to consider is how old the child is. This is because some aspects of parenting differ depending on age.
If your child is younger, you might experience trouble when it comes to things like teaching them essential skills, being able to discipline them, or controlling them
If your child is older, you might be struggling when it comes to their behavior, their actions, or also trying to control them.
Can’t Control the Kids
Younger Child
Trying to control your children is one of the hardest things you will experience as a parent.
As a new parent or someone that is having trouble raising a young child, you have to realize that at a young age, many kids tend to be rebellious and have their own thought process. They don’t understand how to think with reason because of a lack of maturity so they tend to be uncontrollable many times.
This causes them to many times make the wrong decision which in turn makes you feel like you are a bad parent and can’t raise a child properly.
If you are having a hard time controlling your child, you will have to change your approach when confronting them about what they are doing.
Approach to take when your child is uncontrollable
You will have to be harsher and set a strict tone when you are trying to control them.
If they are not listening to you, use a louder tone and come straight to their face and speak to them so they know you are not going to play games with them.
Kids tend to not listen if they are not scared of the person speaking to them so if your kids are not listening to you, they are most likely not scared of you and do not take you seriously.
Another way you can control your child and make them take you more seriously would be to implement punishments more often. If you are not disciplining them for their bad actions, they will keep doing them.
Having an uncontrollable child is a big problem because this can drag on as they get older and if you don’t fix this situation when they are younger, it will spiral out of control when they get older.
An important note to remember is that even though you are superior to them and should be listened to, it is important to not abuse this power. There are many parents that abuse their power and it can have negative results in the long run.
Older Child
If you are having trouble controlling an older child, this will require a plan because, at that age, they have gone through life uncontrolled and have that mindset of “no one can tell me what to do”.
In this instance, you will have to first have a conversation with them letting them know that they are out of control and list the occasions that they have misbehaved.
Let them know that you will have to implement serious consequences if they keep misbehaving. Ground them when they do a bad decision and become stricter as a parent.
If they are not budging, you will have to get outside help from a professional because things can spiral out of control with older kids and that is the last thing you want as a parent.
Time Commitment
Younger Child
Becoming a parent requires time commitment that would not be experienced before. When the baby is born, all the extra time you had goes away and you now are responsible for a brand new life.
Many parents get hit with that and start to break down. The reason for this tends to be that they don’t want to commit time with their kids and miss their old life.
They want to go out with their friends or do the activities they used to do but are not able to. The time they used to have fun with is now taken up by having to be with their kids.
This reality causes parents to start thinking negatively about parenting. They will give up on trying to be a better parent and just settle for average.
Having that mindset can be detrimental to the child have because if you think like that constantly, you will go through the rest of your life thinking about the negative aspects of parenting rather than looking at the positives that it brings.
If you are having time commitment issues as a new parent, it’s time to rethink what you do as a parent and how you can play a better role for the child.
There are many things you can do that are both fun for you and your child where you don’t feel dragged into spending time with your child.
If you have a younger child at the preschool age, click here for a great guide on many different outdoor activities you can do with your child.
Older Child
If you have an older child, this can be challenging especially if they have matured and are old enough to make their own decisions.
In many instances, parents are the ones that are trying to spend time with their kids and their children would rather do something else.
If it is, either way, the way mothers and their children can spend more time together would be to see what the child’s interests are and the mother can try to find a way to bond with them through that.
That can be sports, a TV show, or even games. The options are endless when it comes to what these kids like these days.
To have a great time commitment with your older child, the bond needs to be strong between the mother and child.
A great way to bond with your children would be talking to them about how the world works when it comes to everyday life.
At this age, your kids will be aware of the world around them. They notice all the cool cars and houses and this is when they start wanting to know how they can get all these things they see and dream about.
This is when you as a parent should start teaching them about achieving financial freedom.
A great first step would be teaching how investing works and how to do it. Talking to them about achieving financial freedom will most likely result in you having a stronger bond with them because they are going to be interested in learning and talking about how they can be set up financially within their lifetime.
A great place that teaches kids of all ages about financial freedom is www.financiallyfreekids.com. Whenever I want to teach my kids information about money and how to use it, I can always get my essential information from there.
Important reminder
As a mother, your responsibility for taking care of your child needs to be something you dedicate your life to. Every child depends on their mother to navigate through life (especially early on).
Without the supervision and effort mothers put in, this world won’t be able to function.
Trying to be the best mother you can be is all that is asked of you. It’s one thing to say you’ll put in effort, its another to actually do it.
FAQ by moms
1. What Can I do if I can’t handle it?
If you feel like you can’t handle motherhood, it is time to reach out to professional help. Speaking with a therapist is a great way to help you through this time in your life.
Don’t hesitate to get help for your mental health. If you have a broken arm you wouldn’t hesitate to go to a doctor. Your mental health should be no different.
You don’t have to be in this alone.
2. When Does It Get Easier?
Unfortunately, there is no one answer for this.
Some parents are lucky and their children start behaving themselves in their early teens. In other cases, parents have it hard up until the child moves out.
3. Why Is Being a Mom So Hard?
Being a parent, in general, is really difficult.
You get physically, mentally, and emotionally drained from looking after children. The only reason we do it is that we love them so much.
You are not alone. Thinking that motherhood is too much is a common thought many mothers go through. Just remember who you’re doing it for.
Final Thoughts On Motherhood Being Too Much
If you are one of those mothers that says “being a mom is too much for me”, it is time to evaluate how to approach and do things as a mother.
It is a big responsibility to have and if you are not prepared, you will have a tough time. While being a mother can be too much at some points, it is important to remember that these children depend on us and we have to be mentors to them even if some days seem tougher than others.
When you are in a situation where you are feeling like being a mom is too much, taking the proper steps can change your perspective.
For all the new mothers reading this, here is a great article by the Washington Post about motherhood and how mothers who went through that journey describe it.