Bringing a new life into the world should be a harmonious decision between two people. This little being is a symbol of purity and innocence. A culmination of the best qualities of two individuals who love each other. However, this leads many to question, why would a man get a woman pregnant on purpose?
Differing Life Goals
While some people dream of being a parent. Others cannot understand why you would choose to always put yourself second. Many also worry that having a baby will cause detrimental changes to their relationship.
In fact, “for decades, the marital and family literature has debated whether having a baby causes substantial declines in the average couple’s relationship.”
This postulation obviously depends on a lot of factors, but researchers have found that “compared to pre-birth levels and trajectories, parents showed sudden deterioration following birth on observed and self-reported measures of positive and negative aspects of relationship functioning.” This assertion leads many women to deter away from the idea of having kids.
However, many men cannot fathom the idea of not having an offspring.
You would assume that the woman has the final say in this scenario, but this is often the instance in which men use the sabotage of contraceptives as a method of attaining what they want, while maintaining their innocence.
Desperate Housewives fans are extremely familiar with this scenario, as one of the main characters experienced it first hand in the show. Carlos Solis tampers with his wife’s birth control in an attempt to get her pregnant, which he succeeds in doing.
While it is normal for couples to have differing opinions on child-rearing, the moment that the innocent discussion becomes a one-sided action, it turns into a form of manipulation and abuse.
“Fixing” A Broken Relationship
Marital issues impact a large portion of the population with almost half of marriages ending in divorce. Unfortunately, when these types of problems occur, many individuals use the act of getting pregnant as a way to “fix” what is already broken.
The decision to have a baby is a big commitment. One that permanently binds you to the child and your spouse forever.
When a woman is hinting that she wants to leave her spouse or significant other, many men use pregnancy as a way to manipulate the situation in their favor. They also accomplish this through contraceptive manipulation, but this can many times escalate to threats or even abuse.
Raising a child is hard enough with two loving and committed people. Regrettably, supporting a baby alone and on one salary can feel like an impossibility to most. This can lead many women to flock back to the relationship that they were hoping to sever.
In case you didn’t know, both of these so-called “reasons” for getting a woman pregnant are referred to as reproductive coercion.
What Is Reproductive Coercion?
“Abusive partners may exert power and control in non-violent ways, such as isolation, financial control, and emotional abuse. Non-violent power and control tactics may be exerted specifically on the reproductive health of women, in a phenomenon that has recently been labeled as reproductive coercion, or reproductive control.”
Reports on this occurrence from The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists are quite startling.
- “One quarter of adolescent females reported that their abusive male partners were trying to get them pregnant through interference with planned contraception, forcing the female partners to hide their contraceptive methods”
- “In one study of family planning clinic patients, 15% of women experiencing physical violence also reported birth control sabotage.”
- “Among adolescent mothers on public assistance who experienced recent intimate partner violence (IPV), 66% experienced birth control sabotage by a dating partner.”
Additionally, they note that “the most common forms of reproductive coercion include sabotage of contraceptive methods, pregnancy coercion, and pregnancy pressure.”
These can include withholding birth control pills from the woman, poking holes in condoms prior to intercourse, threats, psychological attacks, or even acts of violence.
The cause for these actions can occur due to the man’s desire to assert control or dominance over his significant other, to keep the woman from leaving him, or to “contribute” to society.
A Note To Health Providers
Many women do not feel safe or comfortable discussing abuse.
This means that it is up to others to watch for signs and symptoms of mistreatment. While it is not in the job description, most individuals depend on their health providers to diagnose these types of exploitations and provide resources to help those experiencing them.
In fact, researchers have found “that 20 percent of women who experienced reproductive coercion felt it would have been helpful had a healthcare provider discussed non-detectable methods of contraception with them, 14 percent felt it would have been helpful had providers asked about pregnancy coercion, and 3 percent felt it would have been helpful had providers asked about birth control sabotage.”
How To Protect Yourself From This Scenario
1. Bring Up Children From The Start
The first step to avoiding this type of manipulation is to bring up the topic of child-rearing in the first moments of the relationship.
Trying to figure out why would a man get a woman pregnant on purpose can be difficult if you don’t understand the logic behind it.
This is why you have to discuss this decision early on. By doing this, it can help you to avoid building a relationship with someone who does want a family and who might take desperate measures to make sure that they get one.
2. Get Help Safely
It may seem easy enough to talk to a professional about getting help in these types of situations, but this can be much harder than you would think.
For the women who are already experiencing this type of abuse, there is a Canadian Campaign that has been created to assist those in abusive relationships. This arose due to the limited resources available brought on by the isolation of the pandemic.
‘Signal for Help’ is an initiative made for virtual meetings. It “is a simple one-handed sign someone can use on a video call. It can help a person silently show they need help and want someone to check in with them in a safe way.” This is a fantastic way for those women to inconspicuously ask for help.
Additionally, The National Domestic Violence Hotline [1−800−799−7233] is open 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Most churches also have resources for those who need assistance and feel trapped.
Lastly, many states have programs to support those who are looking to escape unsafe situations. For example, “The Family Violence Program promotes self-sufficiency, safety, and long-term independence of adult and child victims of family violence and victims of teen dating violence.
Through a network of service providers, the program provides emergency shelter and supportive services to victims and their children, educates the public, and provides training, and prevention support to various organizations across Texas.” A simple google search can open a lot of doors for those who need help.
Prevent Pregnancy Discreetly
For those women who need help preventing pregnancy with an abusive partner, but want to avoid a violent altercation, health experts at the University of Texas Southwestern Medical Center advise obtaining “discreet and confidential methods of contraception, such as IUDs with shorter strings, birth control injections or implants, emergency contraception, or birth control pills in anonymous packaging.”
This can help to avoid the sabotage of these methods of prevention and allow the woman to regain some control.
Related: When a guy says he wants to have a baby with you
Final Thoughts – Why would a man get a woman pregnant on purpose
There can be many reasons why a man would want to get a woman pregnant on purpose from fixing the relationship, to bringing in an offspring because they want to experience parenting.
As much as it can be a joy, having children is not an easy task. It is a whole new responsibility that will take time, effort, and money.
Like it was mentioned above, there has to be a level of commitment involved from you and your partner if you want to take the step.
All in all, a man getting you pregnant on purpose should not be happening so make sure your guard is up and know what situation you will be getting yourself into when you suspect that this might be happening.