Finding a good fit with a babysitter can be a struggle, especially if your child cries when the babysitter arrives. There could be a number of reasons for these meltdowns. It leaves you wondering if your child is having a hard time adjusting or if there is a bigger problem with the babysitter. You don’t want to make the babysitter feel uncomfortable by questioning her abilities, but you also want to be sure that your child is getting the best care possible when you aren’t home.
Whether you need someone to watch your child daily, or just for a night out, finding the right babysitter is important. Children should learn to feel safe and comforted with someone who is filling in for their parents.
Babysitters should eventually be having a good time and interacting positively with your child. Let’s talk about some common issues children experience with babysitters, like separation anxiety. There are times when a child and a particular caregiver just don’t make a good match. We will also discuss some signs to watch for that could indicate this babysitter just isn’t doing a good job caring for your child.
How to Calm Your Child When the Babysitter Arrives
Tell your child that you don’t want to upset him/her, you just have some grown-up work to do on your own. Tell your child how important it is for you to get these things done. Reassure your child that you will act quickly so you can come home to be with him/her as soon as you’re done. Talk up the babysitter as much as possible.
Tell your child how nice and fun the babysitter is. You could have the babysitter prepare a favorite snack or meal for your child to help them warm up to them. Set up a simple craft, activity, or game that your son/daughter enjoys so they can do it with the babysitter when you leave. Distracting the child with something fun or entertaining can be very helpful. Having a favorite toy or blanket on hand could help calm your son/daughter when the babysitter arrives.
Singing a little goodbye song as you leave could do the trick. It could be entertaining or soothing, just enough to get you out the door without a big fuss. All kids need a bit of an adjustment period and some time to bond with their babysitter. It’s normal for children to throw a fit or protest when they have to stay with an unfamiliar person. Eventually, your son/daughter should warm up to their caregiver. Your child should feel comforted and safe being alone with the babysitter when you’re gone.
Ask the babysitter for some input as well. See if they have any ideas about how to ease the tension. Ask them if they have any problems dealing with your child’s anxiety and calming him/her down when they’re throwing a tantrum. Make sure the babysitter feels comfortable with your child and can cope with the tantrums. You want your child and the babysitter to have a pleasant experience together.
Why Does Your Child Cry When Babysitter Arrives?
Try asking the child what is bothering them. See if he/she can tell you the reason they are crying when the babysitter comes over. A child might say that they simply miss their mom and dad when they leave and are sad to be at home without them. Young children form very close bonds with loved ones. They miss their parents a lot, even when they’re gone for short periods.
You can’t ignore your child’s feelings. You have to explore the problem and get things running more smoothly for everyone. Your child is the one that has to spend the most time with the babysitter so you want them to be happy.
If it’s a simple problem you can talk to the caregiver and make some adjustments to fix what’s been bothering your son/daughter. If the issue is deeper it could take some effort and patience, or resorting to finding someone new.
Your babysitter could have a different disciplinary style than you, their relationship may be more complicated than you think. If your child doesn’t like the way their babysitter is talking to them or the consequences they’re given. It might just be a difference in your caregiving styles that your child notices and doesn’t like. If it makes your son/daughter feel uncomfortable, they might cry when the babysitter arrives.
Is the Babysitter Really That Bad?
If your child continues to reject the babysitter maybe you should investigate. Set up a nanny cam or make a surprise pop-in at home and see how things are going. See what the mood is like and find out what everyone is up to when they think you will be gone for a while.
Listen in and see how your son/daughter interacts with the babysitter. See if the babysitter seems preoccupied or annoyed when your child needs something.
Try a different caregiver and see if your son/daughter has the same reaction with them. Have the babysitter take turns with an adult you already trust and ease your child into staying with the new caregiver.
If nothing seems to help, your child and the babysitter just may not make a good fit. You can’t leave your son/daughter with someone that stresses them out on every occasion. If their personalities clash you may have to go back to searching for someone else. It will save a lot of strain and time in the long run.
Warning Signs Your Babysitter Isn’t Responsible
Your babysitter may have bitten off more than they can chew. You want to be confident that your child is safe and well taken care of when you’re away. Having a dependable, trustworthy caregiver is important. Let’s talk about some common problems parents face with babysitters and when it’s time to let them go.
Lack of Communication Skills
A good babysitter should be upbeat and ready to engage with you and your family. They should greet everyone and get general information about your child’s day so they know what to expect. If the caregiver isn’t communicating with everyone effectively, it could cause major tension.
Child Is Getting Hurt More Often
Accidents can happen, even with the most vigilant parents supervising. Accidents that could have been prevented by properly supervising the child are another story. If your child is getting banged up more than usual while you’re away, maybe the babysitter isn’t paying enough attention to your child. If the caregiver isn’t providing adequate supervision, find someone else.
Cant Follow Directions
If the babysitter is ignoring your rules and expectations, your child could become confused. Breaking routine can cause chaos for your son/daughter. A good babysitter will pay attention to the directions you give them and try to stick to your schedule. Routine is important and a good babysitter understands that.
Child Isn’t Being Well Cared For
If your child is always hungry when you get home, maybe the babysitter isn’t making adequate meals and snacks. If your little one is overdue for a diaper change or clean-up, the babysitter may not be taking care of your child’s needs.
Your caregiver should be attentive and diligent. Find a caring, capable babysitter that fits your son/daughter’s needs.