Okay, so your 9-year-old still believes in the tooth fairy. The good news is, it’s not necessarily a harmful situation. Very few children are scarred by figuring out that the tooth fairy or Santa Clause is a lie. The bad news is, it’s about time to tell them the truth.
I’m personally not a fan of the tooth fairy or Santa Clause and told both my children pretty young that they were mythical and that I was actually the one putting the dollar bill under their pillow.
It just did not feel right to lie to them. Plus they were starting to ask some pretty specific questions like “What do I do if the tooth fairy shows up and I’m awake?” or “What if my head is too heavy for the tooth fairy?”. So I just thought I’d tell them the truth rather than stacking on lies.
How to Tell a 9-Year-Old The Tooth Fairy is Not Real
The next step is formulating a plan for how to tell your 9-year-old the truth about the tooth fairy. The phrasing for this is important as we do not want them to think that we were lying to them. This will subconsciously tell them that lying is okay.
My advice would be next time they get a tooth pulled, that night before bed, sit with them, and have a conversation about the tooth fairy. Explain to them that over the past few years you have been putting the money under their pillow.
Tell them that the money will continue to show up but that it is you not the tooth fairy.
Explain to them that now they are getting older, it’s time for them to know the tooth fairy is not real.
Try to avoid words like lying or truth.
Plus you may want to tell them before they think they killed the tooth fairy. Watch this video by BuzzFeed for a good laugh.
The best way to get the message across is to word it in a way in which they’ll begin to understand that dad and mom are the tooth fairy. Also, I recommend explaining to them that the money will continue to be placed under their bed so that they still have something to look forward to.
The Wrong Way to Tell your 9-Year-Old the Truth
What most parents do, is let their kids find out from other kids at school. This is, simply put, the wrong way for your child to find out the truth. You need to control the way they find out.
Children are bound to find out in middle school. I always recommend parents tell their children the truth about the tooth fairy and Santa Clause before the child enters the 6th grade.
Especially if your child has older siblings they are bound to find out sooner.
Personally, I found out about the tooth fairy and Santa Clause from my friends when I was 10-years-old. In school they had us write a letter to Santa as a writing assignment so I asked him what he asked Santa for.
That’s when my friend broke the news to me telling me that in reality, they just gave the letter to our parents because Santa Clause is actually our parents, same thing with the tooth fairy.
My parents continued to lie to me for another 2 years giving me presents from “Santa” and money from the “Tooth Fairy” until one year I told them that I knew the truth.
The issue was I knew they were lying to my face for years. Subconsciously, it made lying okay. Again that’s why I always recommend that parents tell their children as soon as they feel the child is ready to handle it but sometime before middle school.
Final Thoughts
If your 9-year-old still believes in the tooth fairy, it’s not too big of a deal but you do need to formulate a plan to tell them. Ideally, you want to be the one to tell them before they find out from their friends.
Next time they loose a tooth is the perfect time to tell them the truth about the tooth fairy. Be gentle, be honest, and be kind.