There is something so exciting about trying new things! However, this blissful time can often come to a screeching halt, particularly when we are not skilled at performing the new activity. This is exceptionally true for children who tend to become discouraged or embarrassed when mistakes occur. One of the most common questions that parents have is “Should I Let My Child Quit Violin?”
It is important to encourage your kids to take on hobbies in order to determine their interests and broaden their horizons.
Pursuits like violin lessons can be fun, educational and even allow them to engage in their creative side. However, if you find that they are not in tune with the idea of playing the violin, when is it appropriate to let them quit and when should you encourage them to continue trying for a bit longer?
Benefits Of Allowing Your Kids To Quit Violin
It Allows Them to Find Their True Passion
When asking yourself “Should I let my child quit violin?”, the first thing you need to figure out is how long they have given it a chance.
If they have been practicing and performing for over a year and have received proper guidance and support, they are likely just not enthused with the activity. By giving them ample time to try something, you eliminate the issue of snap decisions while letting them still draw their own conclusions.
If they verbalize that they are no longer interested in this instrument, talk about what they dislike about the activity and which alternative they would like to try instead.
A key thing to remember is that music requires patience, an artistic mind, and a passion for the craft. Without the last condition, this extracurricular will never truly last and your child will end up resenting you if you push them to continue playing.
By listening to their reasons for giving up and trying to find something that they are truly excited about, they are likely to be more committed to the next activity. They will also feel more comfortable coming to you when other issues arise academically and socially which is something every parent should strive for.
Their Aptitude May Be in Another Subject
Back in the 1960s, a renowned psychologist developed the right brain left brain theory. It hypothesized that individuals fall under two categories and this distinction determined their aptitude.
Right-brained folks are more creative and make decisions based on their instincts, whereas left-brained individuals are analytical and logical beings.
While this is just conjecture, most people do tend to land on one side or the other. If they are struggling with violin despite a valiant effort, there is a chance that they may just not be musically inclined and would better thrive in a different environment like a science-based extracurricular or playing a sport.
By forcing them to continue with something that they may never master, you risk lowering their self-esteem and confidence in themselves. We would all like to be as talented as Motzart or Lindsey Stirling, but it is very rare to reach such a great level without putting in many hours!
Drawbacks Of Allowing Your Kids To Quit Violin
They May Be Quitting For the Wrong Reason
Life is hard. Most people aren’t handed things on a silver platter, which means you have to work for them. Teaching your children this lesson will help them to not only succeed in their pastimes but also in school and throughout their careers.
An activity being challenging should never be the reason that your little one quits. If they voice that this is the reason for their disinterest, find ways to get them extra practice and provide added encouragement when they reach different milestones, both big and small.
Performance anxiety can also be an issue. Stage fright is a real problem for many children and adults but thankfully, this can many times be overcome.
Not only that but conquering this obstacle is actually much easier to do at a young age. If this is the problem, work with your child in small groups and build up to a bigger audience.
Being comfortable in front of large crowds is a skill that can lead to advancement into leadership roles later in life so working to lessen this fear can be extremely beneficial.
Finally, teasing and bullying can trigger a child’s sudden insistence on quitting the violin. This is an issue that needs to be dealt with head-on. Talking to their teacher and the parents of the child who is taunting them about the instance is the first step. Bullies normally act out because they are insecure themselves.
If these actions are verbal, talk to your child about ignoring their attacks because a reaction is what they want so giving them a response will give the bully the satisfaction they want.
It Can Lead to a Habitual Problem of Quitting
If you let your child quit violin right away, they might be conditioned and think it’s right to start quitting multiple things whenever they feel like it. As mentioned above, you need to put rules in place when your child is taking on new pursuits.
Choose a time frame like six months, a year, or a season before beginning a new venture and let them know that they will be sticking with it for that amount of time and that they need to put their best foot forward.
If they only try violin for a few weeks, they cannot make an informed decision about their opinion on this activity. Most individuals don’t master an instrument in a day so this means that you need to allow them to get the full experience before pulling the plug.
In this situation, tell your child that if they go to every lesson till the end of the year and still want to quit, you’ll allow it. Teaching your children to stick through difficult activities is one of the most important lessons you can teach your child.
Following through on agreements builds character and resiliency. However, learning that they can quit at the drop of a hat can lead to detrimental patterns.
Mistakes and hardships are a necessary part of life. They teach us how to learn, grow and improve so quitting too soon impedes children from learning valuable life lessons that are supposed to make them better equipped to handle life’s many hurdles.
Have a Final Talk
When going through the process of knowing your child wants to quit, having a conversation with them about really deciding what to do needs to happen. As much as you want them to play this amazing instrument, they are the ones who are living their own lives so you pressuring them to continue can cause damage to your relationships.
Have a talk explain to them that whatever they decide to do, you’ll have their back.
Creating a support system for your children on whatever they choose to do is imprtant. This is why many great achievers always mention their parents when being presented for something great they have done.
You are the backbone of the family so making sure that they understand that will put less pressure on them when finding their new passion. If you do end uo letting your child quit violin, it’s not the end of the world.
Cheer them on and enjoy the process of them finding themelves.
The Takeaway – Should I Let My Child Quit Violin?
“Failure is so important. We speak about success all the time. But it is the ability to resist or use failure that often leads to greater success.” – J. K. Rowling
Walt Disney, J.K Rowling, Albert Einstein, Micheal Jordan, and Abraham Lincoln. These are just a few of the many extraordinary individuals who have all experienced failure and rejection and didn’t let it hold them back from success. Time, practice, and patience are necessary for determining if you have a passion and aptitude for an activity.
Additionally, giving them encouragement and praise will only boost their confidence. Your presence and support can make a colossal difference in your child’s perspective on an activity. This, in turn, can affect whether or not they follow through with this extracurricular pursuit.
Make the activity fun for them and also be compassionate. It will suit them better in the long run if you can guide them through the first phase without adding any pressure on them.
Be a shoulder to cry on when a failure occurs and make sure to motivate them to get back up and try again. Usually, after a few falls, they will start to improve and become more seasoned.
If they put in the time, effort, and practice in this skill and still want to give it up, it can be beneficial to let them quit and find something more suited to their skill set. Communication is key when trying to find the right activity for your child so don’t give up. Once they find the hobby that is right for them, you will see them flourish!